i guess..i am expected to be everything to everyone. Ever since i started dating chris, everyone has expected me to be God. Before they did but not as bad. i know my best friend is jealous. she wants me to call her everyday and i don't. yet she does not want to call me sad i am not perfect, i wish i was. i am sorry, i do. but i can not be, nor will i ever be.
i am tired of trying to perfect every aspect of life. i want to write, read, and sleep. is that so much to ask for.
on a further note
chris stayed the night with me over the weekend when he got of work. he just hung out and watched movies. when i saw him sleeping beside me, i felt as if this is what it means to be content with being you. it was an addiction. i did not want that moment to leave me. i want to wake up everyday beside him. 3nodding i love him. but i can't help but wonder, is this true? could this be happening to me? me who always wants to die and never marry. i who hates everything and everyone. i love him...i hate to admit it. i love him. i am so terrified. that this is not true. just a wish on a star.
i will write more later. i have to go.
 Orchids of Apocalypse · Wed Sep 05, 2007 @ 02:14am · 1 Comments |
