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I had to drive to IUPUI by myself, not for the first time, but for the first time that I'd be driving home at night. And so night fell and I was completely unprepared. It was dark, and I had no idea where I was going.

And after a while, I realized that I was totally lost. But I kept going around in circles for a bit determined that I would find something I recognized. That... that didn't happen, and soon I found myself in the middle of a busy street HEADING THE WRONG WAY. Wrong way, as in, the cars were coming at me for some strange reason. So I did the only intelligent thing I could think of, and that was pull over into someone's lawn and call home. You heard me. Someone's lawn.

Of course my parents end up being useless. I mean, I have no idea where I am (couldn't see a street sign), so why would they? In retrospect, "Uh... somewhere that's not where I should be" isn't the best description ever. So I hang up. and I start trying to back my way out and go find a sign post and try again.

Remember when I said I was parked on someone's lawn? Well, they found out before I left, and they weren't to pleased with me. Yeah, the homeowner (I presume) came out in his underwear with the intent of yelling at me for being a stupid. drunken young'un. Which I immediately explained wasn't the cause at all, honestly! I rolled down my window. I shot him the puppy-dog eyes. "I'm lost!" I moaned pathetically. He just looked at me stupidly for a second, then staggered off, muttering something along the lines of "too drunk to ******** know where she is..."

I think he was too drunk to know a helpless pretty young girl when he sees one. b*****d. Get your jollies elsewhere.

Eventually I was able to back out of his yard (managing to knock over his trash and dent what I hope was his car), and I went back down the road (in the proper direction) and made it to a signpost. I called my parents again, and told them the street names, and they were, as usual, no help at all. They told me to go right. I went right. They said go right again. I went right again, and ended up at a dead end.

Yeah, I was screwed. No one knew where I was. So I stayed on the phone for a bit to yell at them for being useless, and lo and behold! More people come over to the car to ask me if I'm drunk. This time, it was a delightful non-suspicious older couple in matching jogging suits taking their dogs for a walk at this most convenient hour of 10pm. I told them, puppy dog eyes and all, "I'm lost!" These people were more helpful. I told them I needed to get to Westfield, and they obliged, giving me the most welcomed advice I have ever gotten in my life.

I followed their instructions and left them to get to their late-night crack dogfights. On the second turn they told me to take, I made a little mistake in judgment. I thought there was a median in the road, so I drove WAY to far to make the turn safely, resulting in yet another lawn job (this time to people I do not know), and the need to back up into traffic, and at this point I am MOST happy for the absence of police.

Eventually I got home. Eventually. But the important thing is, I was not arrested, the car is not totalled, and I was not drunk.

the end.