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I must not put out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.

Making rumors about Harry and Draco's secret love life is not funny and it will stop soon.

I must not bring a Magic-8 ball to Divination class.

I must not make fun of Prof. Lupin's 'time of the month'.

I must not set up an underground dueling arena.

I must not ask for advice from Peeves on how to wreak havoc.

I must not convince first years that the new password to Gryffinndor tower is "Petrificus Totalus" and must be recited with their wands pointed at themselves.

I must not pay first years a galleon to pee in Mad-Eye Moody's hip flask.

I must not use the Invisibility Cloak to sneak into the girl's dorm.

I must not ask Prof. Trewlawny where she laid her eggs.

I must not leave shampoo on Prof. Snape's desk with instructions on how to properly wash his hair.

I must not point to the Dark Mark in the sky and shout "To the Batmobile, Robin!"

I must not put a paper sign on Firenze's back saying "Pony Rides: 3 Sickles".

Seamus Finnegan is not "After Me Lucky Charms"

I will not buy Professor Lupin a flea collar

There is no such thing as an 'Invisibility Thong'

I must not ask Harry Potter who died and made him the boss.

I must not point to Harry Potter's scar and ask if his Voldy senses are tingling.

I will not sing "We're off to see the Wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office.

I will not attempt to magically animate my marshmallow peeps.

I will not tell the first years to build a treehouse over the whomping willow.

I will not lock the Gryffindors and Slytherins in a room and take bets on who will come out alive.

I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Voldemort.

Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's DADA teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.

If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, i am to assume that i am not allowed to do it.

I will not tell the first years that professor snape is the voice of God.

Putting a snitch in Malfoy's pants really isn't all that funny. Even if it does make him scream like a girl.

I am not to tell Nearly Headless Nick that he'd forget his head if it wasn't attached--thats just cruel.

I should not confess to crimes that happened before I was born, even if I have access to a time turner.

I Will not jump up, Yelling "VOLDERMORT, RUN!" in the middle of a Order or DA meeting.

I will not tell Snape he needs to go to his "Happy place”

"Swish and flick" is only a wand movement