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Chapter 2
I guess you could say I’m a confused girl wandering for a truth,
kind of like a journey of the heart. When I thought of things like
this it didn’t seem too bad, but still it seemed horrible that I knew
my mother had lied.
I sat shaking on my bed, dad was supposed to come in an hour but
I was scared he wouldn’t accept me; I felt something changing inside
me, like a strange person taking over; like the world was ending.
It was weird of me to think of the world ending at such a time,
my long lost father was coming and I was thinking all this time he
didn’t want me, I wasn’t sure what to think right now but I was sure
I would fight for the sake of my sanity.
More time had passed then I thought, 15 minutes to go; one thing
I had never forgotten about my father was he was never late; he
always made it on the dot.
Time ticked by for me, it seemed like the world was standing
still, and I panicked. He’s not coming he said that to mom so he
could get off the phone without her calling back over and over.
I looked at the clock, 5 minutes.
What was I living for? What was the purpose for my existence?
Time was stopping like my heart; I was counting the seconds till
he came in my head. 147, 146, 145, 144 . . .
Slower and slower things were going, slower and slower my heart
was beating; I still counted the seconds till his arrival, still
counted on him coming like he said he would even though my doubts
were high.
32, 31, 30 . . . Things were going slower like every tick in my
head for the imaginary clock seemed to stop but still I kept my
counting going, with the small ticks and tocks.
I started thinking I was going insane, I was afraid I was until I
looked at the clock again and counted down perfectly with it. 15, 14,
13, 12, 11 . . .
I thought I heard a car outside and the barking of dog but still
I kept counting. 7, 6, 5, 4 . . . Steps on the stair that matched the
ticking in my head.
3, 2, 1, 0. The second I hit zero there was a ringing in my head
like an alarm clock, then at the exact same millisecond there was I
know on the door, a knock that I was sure was going to change my life
forever; I heard the door open then there was a scream of joy.
I knew he had come like he had said and that my thoughts were
wrong; he had actually come but I wasn’t sure how to confront him so
I sat shaking and waiting on my bed.
Hey lets’ cook up some fun, you and me. No. Oh and why not?
Because he makes her happy even if she is a liar. I knew you were
gonna say that, fine then, I see how you are, I’ll stay quiet while
you have the reunion you’ve been waiting for. I was positive by the
voice in my head I was going insane.
“Honey he’s here, I would like you to come down!” Carla was
calling me, I sighed.
Why did Carla have to call me in such a nice fashion? Why did she
have to lie about dad, what was the secret that made it so I couldn’t
even talk to him.
Don’t you like going insane? I thought you said you were going to
be quiet. Plans change. Okay fine you can talk, it’s good though that
they can’t hear you. I will annoy you so much, you just wait. I hate
you. Okay.
My heart was pounding but I walked as if I was walking the plank
going towards what seemed like my end. Tick tock. Why was she doing
this to me; repeating the same thing over and over as if she were a
clock.
Soon my heart was beating in sync with heart ticking and tocking.
I was now downstairs looking face to face to a weird creature but it
smiled and I realized it was my dad; he looked beautiful like the
girl in my head.
“Oh my darling Sa-man-tha!” He came forward to give me a hug but
the way he said my name was weird, like it was being forced from a
memory, not really real.
I wasn’t sure what to say so I stood there ready for his hug. Tick
tock. She continued her annoying chant like thing.
I wished I would have stayed in my room. Tick tock. Lying on my
bed I don’t care if I were crying. Tick tock. He was so close one
more second and we would touch. Tick tock. I blew my top. “Stop it!
Stop it! Stop it! Shut up and leave me alone, I’ll do anything just
shut . . . up.” I couldn’t believe I was screaming.
Tick tock,
I am a clock,
A word per second,
Tick,
A lie a minute,
Tock.
It was me, I was going insane, it wasn’t some other person it was
me, I was horrible.
“Samantha, are you okay?” Before when I heard his voice I heard
nothing, like it was forced . . . now it was beautiful, soft and
silky; I was envious.
My voice was slow at first and I knew I was going to choke up.
“There is a voice in my head . . .” I chose my words carefully so it
wouldn’t seem I was going insane but I knew I already blew that
cover. “She sounds beautiful but she’s a . . .” Tears filled my eyes
and I fell to the ground screaming. “SHE’S HURTING ME!”
My parents took out a white cloth and put it over my mouth, I
started to feel drowsy then I passed out, what was happening?
I knew he could never love you again. A voice I didn’t want to
hear echoed in my head and I felt regret for ever trusting anyone.
I was now in a room in my head, it was all black on the inside
and I knew what my so called “parents” had done.
“WHY DO YOU HATE ME?” I screamed into the empty blackness and
soon my insanity showed up an evil grin spread wide across her face.
“Why don’t they hate you; why should they love you, what is there to
like? You’re disgusting.”