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Boyfriend thoughts...
Now, not to sound pathetic or anything, but I love my boyfriend. I love him more than life itself. But...there's several things that I really don't like about him. Yes, I know that no one's going to be perfect and I know that everyone has some things that you'll find annoying.
But...I don't know. It's like, with him I know I can tell him anything...but I just can't. Whenever he does something that bothers me I just hold it in. (i.e. When he tells me that "I need to..." ) I mean... ugh. I don't know. I just wish that I could vioce what I feel to him when he says something that bothers me.
Maybe I feel like I'm not supposed to be able to complain because of all of the things I put him through. (Broke his heart, dumped him twice, chewed him out because I was angry at myself) But that doesn't make much sense does it? I mean, I deserve to be able to tell anyone how I feel about anything, right? I shouldn't feel like they would judge me.
But I do feel like I don't have the right to tell him about things that bother me. And I know that he wants me to.
But then again, I have problems with anyone telling me what I need to do so maybe it's just that. I hate being told what to do because I feel that I'm intellegent enough to know what to do. My parents don't tell me what to do anymore. They just tell me to do what I feel is right. That's it. And if they think that I'm grown enough to know what to do, then why do other people feel like they need to tell me what to do? Especially about things that I've done in the past or things that I've said I know how to do.
I know that I haven't really lived much but damnit! I'm intellegent and I'm capable. I know that when he moves over here he's going to need an apartment to live in and that (even though he could look them up himself) it's only fair that I try to find some for him. And I know that if he wants to come visit me he's going to need the prices of hotels. He doesn't have to tell me that I need to find out the prices of these things.
Or maybe I'm just blowing things out of proportion. I don't know.
*sigh* All well....I'll sort it out later I guess.
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