Im wirteing again to "express myself".Lately ive built up so much pain and suffering that i cnat help anyone anymore....it all starte dwhen i couldnt save my sister ritz froma sleeping death....i didnt e-mail her enough i didnt care neiough to,i just thought she was busy...i enevr knew she was depressed.....i didnt know it at all.....i foudn out in october a day after halloween that she died the same month during the same week....she overdosed accidently on dperesent pills...dman it it hurts so much to cry for ehr...everytime that song "how to save a lfie" comes on ic ry so much even if its in school...im lsithing to ti right now to express myself and i cry in sorrow becuse i miss her.I miss you ritz....forgive me not for being there.....
Everyday i live to watch my aprents die slolwy,i wathc them smoke there lif eaway....calming or not...it hurts me....pshyically and emtionally...i lost my rela grandmothe rto smokeing...i never knew her......i hate it when my mom does because i wnat my duagter when i have one with a wife to know ehr grandmother....my mom has a bad abck she has a rodm in it and everyday she works hard to egt me to stay in order and make sure i eat...to be clothed....to keep healthy...keep a clena home....and i cry at night knowing that i cnat help her!
My father yells cuse he doesnt have social skills.I wanna yell but im the fear of being not heard...my dad doesnt awalys yells but it hurts when he does at mom....
i lost my grandfther to old age when i never knew him well ethier...i never could say proper goodbye
i lost my dog
my brothers
my sisters
im even losing my girlfirend now..........
i cnat save a life....i cant....asthese keys are soake din my hearts sorrow blood of salt and my finegr trembel from the thought of death,lose and not being to help anymnore....god help me.......plase.....
View User's Journal
 |
