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Following the Path To My Own Destruction

Though I continue to fight through my days as life is ever challenging me, each day I am reminded of how selfish and near worthless I am. Time wears on and all I can do is watch myself fall deeper into my own nightmares. Though these moment-to-moment experiences compare to such terrible dreams in so few ways, there is always that same feeling of being lost in an abyss of loneliness and the feeling of being forgotten by time itself. I often wonder if I’ll ever find the way back to my own light, which uplifts my spirits and hopes and all that stitches together my most pleasant dreams.

As time passes, I still conceive a feeling of burden, like I am intruding on the lives of those that surround me. I am afraid of speaking to or encountering them at the thought that I may be keeping them from doing what they may. I do not contact by phone, because I feel as though I will, without knowing, be the one who interrupted their doings and be wasting their time with my otherwise unimportant controversies. I care not what people think of me, but I do, however, worry that I may be the wall between a person and what they could be accomplishing.

People have noticed in the past that I am no exception to the least trusting of people, though they do seem to realize that I am trustWORTHY. This I find to be somewhat more positive than other things, which I have learned of my peers. I don’t talk much of myself for fear that what is said may be turned against me in a way that I’d much like to avoid, whatever it may be. Persons tend to have clever and creative minds when it comes to revenge or spite.