I smile. I smile more than neccessary, far more than is needed of a normal person. I smile so much that people tend to figure that I'm always happy, that nothing's wrong. The actual reality is that I smile so I don't inconvience people. My smile isn't real, far from it, its just a mask to keep people from realizing how much pain I'm in. I don't want people to worry about me, so I keep all the pain inside and never express it until I know that I'm alone. Only when I'm alone, I'll burst out sobbing because I know no one can make this pain in my chest go away.
Wasn't I worth anything? How could he replace me so easily? We were so close...the final stretch. It was as if I could almost reach out and touch you, as silly as that sounds. And when I heard him crying on the phone, I had to be the strong one. I had to swallow all the pain and hate I felt inside and smile as I talked to him. I had to smile and joke and laugh because I couldn't stand the thought of him crying.
But do you care about me crying?
Do my tears count at all?
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The Path of a Wannabe Writer
Because quite frankly, all my characters are perfect~
"I'm a Panini."
- Panini, 2022
- Panini, 2022
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