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Neh.
Me freedom is coming to an end.
It'll all start over again on the 19th, and I so dread that day.
Why does it have to come?
I just don't understand why they're taking it all away from me.
With that empty feeling in my gut, where I know I'm not just hungry, keeps returning, to make me feel so uncomfortable that my brain will actually think I'm in pain..
If only Pocky was with me.
Then, I wouldn't care at all..
What ever was thrown at me, I'd get through it with Pakkun.. he'd be the only one to make me smile and laugh at the end of the day. Even though he couldn't talk back, he did a damn good job of listening to me at my weakest point.. but since they took him away..
I don't even have that now.
So the empty feeling stays.. and leeches the life out of me.
Before I know it, I'm acting all emo, dressing in baggy dark clothes, and avoiding conversation at any point.
Although, I was hoping to make new friends, dress awesomely, be smart, and just have a pleasant time.
If only.
However.. it's not like I have any friends now.
Some friends that only call me when they're bored, or when all of they're other friends are busy...
Some bring me over, and end up making me feel terrible.. where they ask my opinion in things, then tell me I'm stupid. Ones where I share my true feelings, and try to confide in them my personal thoughts.. but only end up not listening at all, and continue to talk about how their lives are wonderful.
I'm not acting emo depressed. Just typing.
Since I've dealt with being alone for so long now.. I'm sure that instead of reverting back to my previous state of mind in 9th grade..... I'll just be more distant than ever.
If the kids don't like me.. then I tried. Don't blame me for not being exactly like them.. just ignore me and get on with your lives.
I figure, if I give my best shot.. then I'll continue acting that way.
No less, no more.
That's it.
Me is Me.
I'll continue this way until I get out of high school, and hopefully have achieved the skills and knowledge I need to become very successful in life. Next.. would be college.. yeah.. I just don't know right now.
I'm completely drained now.
Every bad scenario repeats, and repeats, and repeats, and repeats, and REPEATS.. etc...
So I don't need to let it bother me anymore.
Who knows what the future brings to me.. and if I'll like it or not.
I hate change, I truly do.
Dx
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