i hate it when i'm stupid. i hate it when i know i should probably bathe in hot oil. i also hate it when i have no idea how my actions and choices affect everyone else.
the other day, i was asked by my friend's mom if i wanted to hang out with my friend the next day. you see, my friend had another friend visiting from her hometown. i, knowing how awkward it would be if she weren't asked herself, i said i'd consider it, but i would leave the choice up to her. the next day, i was invited to the house of a different friend, and, having not gotten an answer from the first yet, i agreed.
as karma would have it, my friend who had given me the first offer called herself, asking if i wanted to go with her. having given a solid "yes" to another person, i had to decline. i felt like an idiot. how could i have agreed to something after promising to consider another and before deciding on what to do with the first offer? maybe these matters of chivalry don't phase others, but i feel like a bad person. i'm kicking myself for going back on my word. in one way or another, i think what i did counts as lying...
but who knows? maybe my friend only felt obligated to ask me because her mom had already mentioned it? maybe it was one of those moments when you act so disappointed, but you're sighing with relief inside? i can understand how it feels to be reunited with an old friend, but still having to share those precious reunions with your normal life.
still, i can't stand not knowing. and it would be punishably rude to ask. i guess i'll have to keep kicking till i'm over it...
 Hasslich Kekse · Tue Jul 22, 2008 @ 11:37pm · 0 Comments |
