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Jamie's Journal ^.^ All about me and my hectic and drama-filled life.


frozenblueberries126
Community Member
avatar
3 comments
Story im writing. it is title-less thus far.
Chapter 1- Riley
Ughh, it's been a week since the neighbors to the left were taken and just now they found the neighbors to my right, I thought, lying under the soft comforter in my room. It was completely dark, but I still couldn't sleep, something about the screams of humans being eaten alive by strange zombie post-human things kept me awake, or maybe I'm just weird. I hadn't slept for more than four hours total in the last week; this one was the worst since the first week it started.
My dad woke me up on the last Saturday of October; it was a few days before my birthday. He woke me up much earlier than usual and told me to get dressed as fast as I could and meet him in the kitchen. I did with no fuss only because he seemed really nervous about something. I grumbled into the kitchen and sat at the table, both my mom and dad were watching the TV intently and I could hear shrieks and screams coming from it. I looked at the screen and rubbed my eyes a bit, it took me a few minutes to realize what was happening. People were running through the streets, others were chasing them. The camera shook a little as the helicopter came into some turbulence, once it was focused again it zoomed in and I could finally see what we had been watching. There were people, some were bloody with their clothes ripped others looked like they had just come from work. My mind was so blurred, I wasn’t fully awake yet. I didn’t realize the point of this until I saw one of the runners get caught. The man, who happened to be a policeman, snapped his neck and ripped a huge chunk of it out with his bared teeth. Just then another one of the chasers caught sight of the limp body. The new man and the police officer started to fight; I never got to see the outcome because there was a knock at the door.
Finally it was morning and I slipped out from under the comfy covers of my bed. I looked around at my room. The window was boarded up tightly and locked in at least seventeen places, my father always said better safe than sorry. My comforter was a soft darkish blue color, but not navy. The sheets were black, and I loved them more than life itself. My walls used to be a light bluish color but were now covered in "art", meaning random posters and such, a mural that I painted not long ago, and more random drawings. My bed was pushed against the corner and had a table next to it with a lamp, nothing fancy just a small desk lamp. The floor was hardwood, some clothes scattered here or there. The laundry basket was overflowing, taunting me to do a chore I despised. I didn't have a closet; my dad turned it into a small alcove in the corner that my desk fit into perfectly. There were papers scattered about it and my sketchbook was open, revealing a half colored picture of a grotesque zombie creature.
Opting for less time to think on things I got up, grabbed my gun and unlocked my bedroom door. I quickly looked around, but there was nothing. I walked to the bathroom and turned on the water, closing the drain I decided a relaxing bath would take my mind off of other, less pleasant matters. I looked in the mirror above the sink as I waited for the bathtub to fill. A girl who I barely recognized stared back at me. She was strong, and fit, looked cunning like a cat, and had some horrible dark circles under her eyes. I rubbed at them to see if they were from left over makeup, but they were just from exhaustion. I took off my sweats and my shirt, turning off the almost filled bath. I looked at the muscles, showing plainly through my skin, the large scar on my back that had just finally healed last week, and the dark brown wavy hair that fell to the end of my shoulder blades. I slipped off my undergarments and slid into the hot bath, my muscles aching as they touched the steaming water.


the bold part is a flashback...sorry for the confusion

thats half of what i have typed.. should i keep it going? am i good at writing? i just started it as something to do when i got bored during the summer. but now its getting more serious and im starting to wonder if i should actually try to carry it out. i just need some feedback and constructive criticism ^.^
thanks- <3 J





User Comments: [3]
Teragen
Community Member





Tue Aug 19, 2008 @ 05:33am


It's good Blueberry ^_^ i think you need a little bit more of an intro, like what she looks like, how old is she, what life used to be like etc. But other than that it's great! i defenitely think you should keep writing it!


frozenblueberries126
Community Member





Tue Aug 19, 2008 @ 07:23am


Thanks tera...i wanted it to kinda just start right into the action then the readers find out more about her as the story goes on...i think that makes it more interesting....but i dont know...well see what the others have to say


User Comments: [3]
 
 
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