this is gonna be hard for me to write. this is going to be one of those journals that i ask you not to comment on or talk about at all.
I'm falling again. i look back at the time me and bingk were going out and i now realize that all we were, was friends who occasional kiss. friends with minuscule benefits. she never loved me. and that's ******** up! it should have been my fault, but it was hers. i learned nothing from this and I'm right back where i started. loveless and stuck in the rut. coming down off that kind of high hurts, even when you're let down slowly. I'm not as emo as i once was and I'm never going back to that. I'm over my self pitying bullshit stage. but I'm still falling i tell myself that i will never go back to what i was before. but I'm heading that way again.
i suppose i just want to feel close to someone again. i know it sounds shallow but i want to feel lips again, i want to feel a hand in mine again. after getting a taste...it's like a drug! a weak drug, but a drug nonetheless. i just want to feel that high again. am i being weak? of course i am, writing this in a journal on a ******** website is as weak as you can get.
i don't want to go on like this again, and i won't. i guess I'm not the kinda guy who like being single, eh? oh well, suck it up and carry on until the time comes again right? ******** the withdrawal symptoms I'm stronger than that.
well this journal turned out significantly less emo than i though it would be... you can go ahead and post if you want.
 mokuzai · Tue Aug 19, 2008 @ 05:21pm · 0 Comments |
