Tyler, I don't get how you get by. The all too often "good-bye". I'm getting so used to hearing it; next time, I'm not going to cry. this isn't supposed to rhyme...ever since you went away, my life hasn't been the same. my love for you became too much to handle...your love for me, became faint..does it still exist? Was it ever real? Do you love me, for me? Or are there reasons i don't yet know? Is there someone else? Why, Tyler, Why must i ask you these questions? You broke my trust, Tyler...shattered, it's gone. Try to rebuild it to the best of your ability. Do you see my pain? Becca? Amie? Allyssa? Kimmy now? Tyler, i don't like it...you're habits that is. You spend so much time in going out and making other girls love you..but you never seem to have any time for the one who already does. Tyler, you have the best thing in the world, you said so yourself..but with the other girls....you're losing the best...I'm falling apart...waiting to die...you've taken my reason for living and made a mockery of it. Tyler, you are my reason for living...you know that. but how come, you don't seem to care? I don't care what you say, Baby...I'm always going to be here for you, i'll always be in love with you...you don't seem to see...how much you mean to me...maybe if..maybe if i were to leave....THEN would you realize how much i meant to you? would it be nothing at all? or would i mean everything? would you shrug your shoulders and go after Becca?or would you sit up and cry all night wondering where you went wrong? Tyler, get a hold of yourself...i won't last forever at this rate...if i don't kill myself..you surely will. i sit up at night, making sure you're sound asleep before drifting off. i whisper goodnight and kiss your cheek, every night after you're asleep. just to make sure that it's ok for me to sleep. i make sure you're not having nightmares....i wake you up during your nightmares, seemingly saving you from your dreams.
i hold your hand and clasp it tight, nothing can break my grip...but then... when i think I'm holding so very strong, you let go...and i fall back...away from you...i get lost in the crowd...you look over your shoulder, through the crowd i can see. you shrug your shoulders and move on without me...i kneel on the ground and begin to cry, people walk right by as if i'm not even there. then a hand rests on my shoulder, so warm and comforting. a soft gentle man's voice says "chase after him. he's lost without you..." then before i had time to turn around, he was gone. but the warm comforting feeling remained. i stood bravely and chased after you, pushing myself through the crowds. pushing everyone who dared to step in my path. slapping anyone who dared to stop me. i kept running, breathless i reach you and tackle you from behind. i giggle and you laugh. "i was just looking for you! what happened? i thought you stopped to tie your shoe...then you were gone...i knew you'd catch up though" I'd look up into your smiling eyes. "I've found you again, not even a crowd this big will break our bond..." i hug him tight and we move on. this whole mishap not ruining anything.
do you see my point, tyler? it happens every time! every time i have you in my arms..you take a step away...are you sure you love me as much as you say you do?
Tyler, you are my brand of heroin, are you sure that i am yours?
♥♥♥
