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XX- Have you ever had a friend that tells you that you two are friends for life?? have they back stabbed you?? do they tell you they didn't mean to do it??then the next year comes and she has other friends she prefers.and you go up to her and they just ignore you...i ask myself why did i even have that chick as a friend...i mean i had a feeling that something was going on like she was pissed at me. but there's this boy that she likes...i guess she just wanted to push me aside and go to him so maybe i was in her way...but she didn't even know if he liked her.now i don't know if they're dating..i would e-mail her and ask her if she hates me her answer....i don't know then the next day i ask the boy she likes if she hates me....a second after i asked he said...yes..she does. when he said that i felt like blurting out well you know she likes you! i wanted to say that but then...i know she would get people to get me. because i know that he doesn't like her that way then he would never talk to her and that would have been pay back. i lose a friend and she loses one but i didn't do it. one of my good friends was with me when i asked him that question...right then and there i felt like crying. i didn't want to cry in my 20/20 so i held this s**t inside. another one of my friend who sits right next to me asks whats wrong??you look sad when she said that i was about to cry then the bell rings and it is 20 minutes of silence...when the bell rings i rush out of the classroom and hurry to the lunchroom. i do the regular routine i go in line and eat then talk to my friends...but today was different..i got my lunch but i only ate idk maybe a fourth then dumped my tray. i sat down looking at the wall across from me and tried not to cry. soon one of my friends says why are you so quiet? whats wrong?' i couldn't take it anymore i couldn't hold it in. tears streamed down my face. i didn't notice that i was crying until i felt a drop of water on my hand then touched my cheeks and i quickly hid my face..i tried to stop crying but i couldn't stop. my emotions were taking over.my friend noticed i was crying and she asked okay who do i need to beat up?' barely able to get it out my mouth i spit out 'no one...' she knew i was hurt badly not physically but mentally. all my friends but two came next to me and gave me a hug. my friends who didn't notice that i was crying they soon found out, apologized and gave me a hug. now it was study hall and i tried so hard to control my emotions i didn't want to cry in study hall especially when i have my day two study hall teacher he was a piece of crap and i didn't want him to talk to me cuz the next teacher to give me crap or sympathy i would've punched them in the face. that day i asked myself...why was i even her friend....i really didn't see it coming because...we were really good friends...best friends...but i guess people have a change of heart...now i know better and i will find better friends than her. my ex-best friend...she has lost a very good friend who would have treasured them like any other good friend. it hurts when i see her because i think of the good times and smiles we had together. it hurts me so much...well you got to go through it sooner or later...it also hurts me to look at her and see her name yes it has hurt me that much...that person will remain anonymous. i hope she and the boy she likes will end up together....-XX
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