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so as of today i'm being put on an SSRI [an anti-depressant] and i'm not sure what i think about that.

i guess i don't like it because i'm not even sure if that's what needs to be taken care of. maybe what i really need is a mood stablizer. who knows? and what if i start taking these pills and i become a zombie? if i have to choose between having emotions that are out of control or not having them at all, i would choose the first.

at the same time, though, i'm hopeful that this might actually work, and i can stop being so paralyzed by my feelings of inferiority... maybe even make acutal progress in my art and studies.

i'm torn.