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i adore the fact that i love my life.
i love everything in it.
i feel a wondrous sense of satisfaction and completion. nothing is missing.

i can do anything,
and everything.

i have so much ahead of me.
i have so much behind me.

- -



rain.
beginnings.
smiles.
changes.
ends.
renewal.
uplift.
rising.
sunrise.
bloom.
chance.
strength.

- -


one more thing.
i'll never forget the words becca said to me, the day she left.
never make one person your rock.


- -


oh my god.
oh my god.
oh my ******** goodness.

and these lines,
these lines...
i've lived these lines.

three amazing girls.
three different times.
three amazing stories of my life.
no less or more meaningful.
i've lived love.

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you



andd.
there's it.
i'm done, now.
lulsy.


i seriously feel like crying tears of happiness.
i am so ridiculously happy.
i am happy.
my entire life has been happy.
and i'll die at the spot and apologize for nothing,
regret nothing.

i love my life.
i've lived.
i've lived.

and it just gets so much better from here.

i've loved,
i've laughed,
i've felt the skin of the girl i love underneath my fingertips,
i've made love,
i've had intense friendships,
i've been special,
i've been rich,
i've fallen,
i've cried,
i've felt heartbreak,
i've risen,
i've gained wisdom,
i've smoked,
i've hung past curfew,
i've seen so many concerts,
i've had an incredible family,
i've found myself and my place in the world,
i've...

i'm me.
i am so,
so,
me.

and i've never been happier to just be me.


i can hardly list all the prize moments of my life.
hardly.
so,
so hardly.

my life is beautiful.
my life is wondrous.
my life is passionate.
my life has been everything i need it to be, and so much more.

i don't want to die yet.
i want more of this.
but if i were to,
i'll die with intense satisfaction of everything in this life.

i want someone to share this feeling with.
this pride,
this abstract joy.
this blend of surrealism and accomplishment.
my life is like a movie.
like a novel.
with every bit of sorrow and happiness,
everything you want to have for yourself.

i don't even care if that comes off as egotistic.
this is how i ******** feel.



so,
this is the fourth or fifth time i've said to myself it'll be my last post.
well.
fo'real, now.
(:

- -


i ******** hate you.