(Okay, I took wayyyyyyy too long on writting this, that I had 2 RE-write it a second time!!!!! stare I freakin' hate when that happens!!!!!! stressed scream scream scream
anyway, here it goes.... again!)
Has it ever happen 2 u, when u do things that u'r not supposed 2 do, yet... u still do them? Because it has happen 2 me. This is how it happen: One of my closest friends n me, have started 2 hold hands, playing around more than usuall, and other similar things. It has gotten to the point where, our other friends believe we're going out, but WE are not, and we can't . . . because he's alredy going out w/some1 else.
And it was only until 2day dat we realize we really act like boyfriends . . . so we started 2 talk about our (till) close friendship.
If his parents or his girl saw us, they would pretty much be like: WTF!!!???so.... we decided...to stop behaving like we do around each other.... n
I honestly feel like all this happen because of me, and IT HAS TO STOP. . . but then...when I think about it a second time...
if he really loves his girl.... (because duh! , he wouldn't b w/her if he didn't) then.... y...
y did he allowed me to get close to him? y...did he let me get my "hopes up" with him, when there was no reason to do so?
then again... I should have known better than that! emo
I HATE WHEN THIS HAPPENS!!!! stare
because it makes evrything confusing n even harder to fix! sad
. . . anyway.... we are gonna try 2 stop behaving like we're going out, because . . . it's not right . . . n now . . . it's painful . . . and now it's even harder 2 do because we're SO used to each other... but we MUST, because apparently, it wasn't meant to be emo
if u're w/some1.... u shouldn't be w/others at the same time....
it seems that this time I fell for the right guy...
in the wrong time..... in the worst time of all neutral
. . . emo
Nov-03-08
I remenber when I wrote those last paragraphs up there ^ .... I was so sad and didn't knew what to do or how to deal with forbiden emotions... which I may add, still are inside my heart rolleyes but in a different way.
FOR heart RYO AND I heart ARE FINALLY GOING OUT!!!!
He was going out w/someone else before, but they broke up like two or three weeks ago... so...yeah....
Man!!! whee I'M SO HAPPY!!!!! (about us xd , finally facing our fears and deciding to go out! 3nodding ) . I'm so happy I can't belive it's real! It's like... a dream rolleyes ....
I really love him...I love him like I've love no other guy .... (or gal LOL sweatdrop ) in my entire life.... the feelings I have for him go beyond the ones I'd felt for my first love (Luis, R.I.P. ).
And, I'm just really gratefull to GOD for having put him in my life's way.
I'm finally being able to let go of the past thanks to him (Ryo) . I could never pay back all the wonderful things he has done for me. I also am gratefull for having my feelings correspond......
I really love him... I don't know what I would do without him, nor can I imagine my life without him anymore rolleyes .
pam_rdz_garcia Community Member 
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