So I've kinda been in love with the same person for over a year now 1 year 2 months and 13 days today! Yep that long, sad isn't it? That I haven't told him I like him yet. Absolutely. It's pretty pathetic I know, well its not so easy when your dealing with a BAKA like him yeah i said it BAKA. Let's call him Naku okay? (A/N One of my teachers told me okay is spelt well like that but it always says its spelt OK?) Well Naku is a baka plain and simple! He doesn't even know i exist (without better lack of trying) I TRY I really do even though i feel like i can't breathe and my mouth gets so dry when ever I look at him so I'm gulping down water trying to get something out (like I am now yeah its that bad). I've been trying to write this entry for a few days now but I could never get the right words out to portray my feelings for him. So I decided what the heck I'll do it anyways (after being a coward and reading other peoples journals for "inspiration" as i told myself but who am I kidding I'm terrified to think he might find out about this and read it so I'm a little paranoid... but thats fine right? I mean its not like he'll go on gaia and specifically look at my journal and read it right? TELL ME I'M RIGHT oh geez this was a bad idea....). So I took a break to talk to some friends (jeff and care) and well they made me depressed . Now according to jeffrey he treats me like a dog and you know what it could be true but hey no matter the kicking I get I'll still come back for more. Not a pretty picture of me but its true... Okay i really can't deal with this right now. It's too much I don't know whats wrong with me. Maybe someday I'll be able to stand my ground and never back down but then again tomorrows getting harder and you've gotta make your own breaks so it might not be a great idea but I'm a coward when it comes to facing my feelings for him, and only him.
( I really hope no one reads this especially not him, wait what am I thinking I could tell him i wrote a journal about him and he wont even bat an eyelash -sigh-)
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The Ramblings of a Crazy Stranger.... continued
just a bunch of random things put together
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I can't really relate with you as well as other people could, but everything you tell me or that i can see for myself ... to put it simply ...
its really more of a "I hate you so much, but at the same time love you more than i hate you".
Sorry if i'm just confusing you more, however if you ever want to talk about it, i'll be here. And i'll stop teasing you about him, because thats not something a friend should do (at least to a certain point)
-Panda