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Alicia's Journal.<3333
about me


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$imple&Complex.

-in life we all get chances to love, & be loved. It's a matter of want, & need. No one's perfect, but love isn't finding a perfect person. It's being able to look pass all their imperfects and see an imperfect person perfectly.
&; if i could describe my life in just one word, i'll tell you it's been a struggle.

User ImageI'm constantly being portrayed as the nice, smart girl with the perfect life. Am I really letting others see this image of myself? My life hasn't been a walk in a park, it's beyond normal, yet I try to put up with the s**t i go through, because I've learned that I can't let them hold me down any longer. I have my own dreams, to accomplish, my owns goals to set. And no one will ever be able to stop me from getting what i want. i'm independent, young, but wise enough to know my right from wrongs, simply through experiences. Dont let age fool you, it doesn't make a difference. Life has taken it's good and bad tolls on me, and I'm still here, going strong. I've always been a doubtful person, I never really trusted anyone, at a first glance. It took me a while, before I can ever let anyone in. & that's just who i am. Music has been my passion. it keeps me going, it's like my own personal drive, never allowing me to give up. It's my therapy, it's my savior. There's a lot of mistakes revolving around me, but perfection has always been my aim. I try, i fail every time. There are a lot of 'but', if's & maybes' in my life. they're the excuses that follow as i fall behind . i take life slowly, one step at a time. Babysteps are the goal. When life is at it's worse, you can only go so fast, why rush? It'll wait for you (; I've never been too excited about what my future holds. I've seen many dreams destroyed, promises that were left unkept. It makes you wonder a lot. I can be hypocritical, that's easy to admit. I'll tell you to keep pushing yourself, while im slowly giving up, and losing grip of my dreams. Growing up, I never felt as if i fitted in with the family. I always stood out from the rest, so gradually i became more and more distant from them. Allowing myself to do what i want, without them having a negative input towards me. Staring out at the sky, wishing on the stars, hoping they'll come true, is something i find hard to believe. They may be fun, but do i really believe in it? No, i really dont. I think that if you want something bad enough, you'd chase your dreams, til you're there. i don't try to please everyone, because i'm done trying. It's hard enough, knowing that i can't be everything i want to be, so why try. ? Give me hugs, give me love, but i still won't second guess my own decisions. Only a freshmen, but i have endless amounts of words to write about my life. & this is only the beginning. Im learning, to accept myself the way i am. I have the Lord above blessing me with another beautiful day, and that's all i can ask for . So i'll keep my head held high, `til I make something of myself. & as you can see my life's far from perfect





 
 
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