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I hate the knot of anxiety I get in my stomach. I hate that I can never stop thinking about the cause of it, and that just makes it worse. And when it's really bad I can't even distract myself from it very well. It's been bad lately, it's been coming around a lot. So have the bad thoughts, the ones I'm not allowed to act on, the ones I can't act on. No matter how much I want to.