i die before i wake, i pray the lord, my soul to take.
why does all this s**t have to be going on all at the same time? i have a dying family member, 2 sibs with major problems, a father who's never home, friends who im slowly drifting away from dispite the fact that they're my besties. im only in 11th grade, im only 17, i do not know how many times ive wanted to take my life away from myself. so had it not been for some pretty amazing people in my life to help stray away from doing that, yea, id be 10 feet under (currently cause theres about 4 feet of snow at any minnesota cemetery by now). i dont know if im saying this just because of my migrane or something, but its fact. and like, i feel like i hardly ever have anyone to talk to because people either dont look at their texts, they arent home, or theyre just ignoring me (theres like 2 people hwo have done that to me recently and its really taken a toll). its amazing to find out that some nights id be sitting in my room sobbing like no tomorrow and nobody in the house has any idea nor do they even find out. because i have nobody telling me to stop something, i do exactly what i promised myself i wouldnt, id go drinking some nights, id smoke the other nights. so tell me, why is all of this stuff happening at the same time? its slowly killing me and i dont want it to be, i hate the fact that im always sitting here wasting away on my bed while the rest of the world seems happy... all i want is for everything to go away except for the people i love... i want all the problems, all the drama, all the health problems to just GO THE ******** AWAY. thanx
-kirstin
musicismyforever Community Member 
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