Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Kayla... this is Dedicated to you..
dear Kay,
You are my sister. And always will be until i die. Even if i dont ever get to see you. But if I do i want you to know, Im Crying for you every day... Everday theres tears from my face. NOBODY can replace you. I remamber your smile... and your laugh. And the last day i ever saw your face. Im never gonna forget you. I will always remeber my sister. You tryed living better everyday from what happened to you in your past. YOu diddnt know what to do. you made some mistakes. But i still love you. YOu are who you are. And i love you for that. Ever since youve been gone.. i wonder why... why did they take you? I wasnt ready to say goodbye to you.. In fact... i never got to. YOu left with out a word and its painfull. I know you hurt too. I know you think... have i gone on? Even though your not here today... I love you. And If i never get to c your face... i LOve you... and if i hug you.... i love you... if we get to smile together again... i love you.... kay, i love you. I remember our laughs we had. And the day we met. its been 4 months since ive seen your face. 4 months without you... and another year to go. your a lot like your grandma... Your both a part of me... YOur both family. I will Love both of you.. until the day i die... and after i die... I will love you. This was so nice having you here. But so wrong that you had to leave. Your the same to me, and i love you for that.Your a great girl. and i miss fun nights we had... at the ice rink with Dakota... At that football game with Blake... And when i was on crutches... you took my backpack everywhere... and then when i was in the hospital.. you were on the phone with me, making sure i was ok. and when i got out. you were right out side my door with Emile and we were talking out side for hours... catching up on girl drama,,(lol) U always treated me right. We were meant to be sisters.. we choose eachother to be sisters and im gllad we did.. but your gone. your far away.. I rememer the first day of school... (my b-day) your grandma took us. and i was so nervous. But you helped me though it. Tears are still comming down my eyes.... all because you leaft my side. Kay, please dont leave me forever. Its wrong for me to have to go on without you. your someone i will always miss. You went through so much... and its not your fault.. you diddnt choose your life.. were still the same persons. We stil love each other.. Girl i hate all these changes. It seems like everyone i love leaves. It makes me wonder if theres something wrong with me? You were there when all thouse guys at school made me cry cuz thy wer calling me man boobed shamoo. Which they still do. Your not here to hold me through all those though times anymore. I never got the chance to tell you how much i loved you. I guess its true... you dont really know what you have until you loose it. I lost you. and i have always know what your worth.. i just never realised it would hurt this much wen you were gone. I was so used to you being here when i needed you, but now that your gone. Everthng is gone.... Remember When you spent the night at my house cuz your grandpa? when you came over, my dad and i were making pomegranet jelly and so my hands and shirt was all purple-red. and as soon as you got here.... i had to shower... then we spent the whole night giggling and stuff. And rememer that one time Christaian S. Came over tomy house and my brother had the bottle of Colone... He sprayed the whole bottle on us... that stink diddnt get out of my room for two weeks. DX... And i still have one of those glow sticks from Halloween. I remember that you had every song on my phone memorised... and id go through the list and right away you'd start singing.. Yeah so we made mistakes... But doesnt everone... we not perfect.. nobody is, and thats ok. Kay, I dont blame any of this on you. It was not your fault.. If you had a choice. you'd be here as soon as you could. You showed me how to love again. And I had to help you out a bit and show you that not every person is bad. Your not a bad person, idont care if youve made mistakes but you are NOT a bad person. You really tryed. and you failed... But thats ok.... cuz now, Youve passed.