my head hurtz....in the last journal entree i wrote i was talking about this dude who i really liked and how he might like me bak. well recently i decided to give up on him. the more i thought about it the more i was thinking that if we did get into a relationship it probably wouldnt last. hez about 3 or 4 years older than me and we never really officially "talked". when i say "talked" i mean that we never had an actual conversation getting to know about each other. i only know a few things but he probably doesnt know anything about me...he doesnt know that im weird or have different tastez in things. im afraid he wont like me after getting to know me....and im afraid he might not be wat i want him to be...*sigh*
well after deciding that i began taking stepz to move on. i seriously used to think about him everyday and wonder how he was doing but then i made it to where i went weekz without him coming to mind. i was doing pretty good until i had a dream....GAWD IT RUINED IT!!! im not gonna say the dream but he was in it and there was romantic stuff between us *blush* since then i havent been able to stop thinking about him. hez constantly in my mind and i keep wishing he would come bak from korea so i could see him and talk to him and maybe we could get together and live happily ever after GRRR!!! STUPID STUPID!! itz a saying that 'your first love is never destined to bear fruit' and im afraid that will apply to my situation. DARN YOU DREAM!!! this really freaking sux bananaz!!! i want to forget him and move on and maybe find someone my age but i just cant...somehow something getz in the way of me trying to forget him. everytime i think about him my heart beginz beating so fast and i feel my face heat up. WHY DAMNIT WHY!!
...........my head hurtz....X_X
ii-PastelPanda-ii Community Member 
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