|New Beginings: Ch.1~Summer|
I was always the problem. Ever since the first day we met I was the problem. And not just for her, for them too. My parents. It's sickening really, to be the only one to know what's really the truth.
They'll deny it. All of them. Every last [********] one of them hates me and want me out of their life for good, but something about the appeal of messing with my already messed up mind fancies them,
I have a problem with that. I always have and always will. Even now in my room. Alone. No one to comfort and hell no one to comfort me! Why not? Are my problems not as good as theirs?
God, my head and heart are racing, I can feel my mind about to give into it again. No! Even the voices are at it again. I try so hard not to listen. I even take the pills. The goddamned pills! They don't even help! I can always feel it, the crave, it bites at my heels as I ran, run, always running. It's always there. It's hard to ignore.
She's the only one who can make it stop. Even more powerful than the pills. More powerful than the crave. The words. My words. Their words! Everything. More powerful than everything. Her will power helps me everyday, everystep, every breath is a battle with out her.
She's my best friend, my teacher, my gaurdian. She's my sister, my love, my world. She revolves around me. She's everything. I'd be nothing without her. I am nothing. Nothing to anybody. Not even myself.
Look down you see a fool; look up and you see a God; look straight at me and you see yourself! That's all there is. That is all I am. I am what you want me to be. I am what they want me to be. A murderer, a suicidal child, lost from faith, lost and detached from every one and every damn thing! Anyone, anything, mold me! Shape me! Make me what I am today. What you want me to be tomarrow. Anything. Everything.
They'll deny it. All of them. Every last [********] one of them hates me and want me out of their life for good, but something about the appeal of messing with my already messed up mind fancies them,
I have a problem with that. I always have and always will. Even now in my room. Alone. No one to comfort and hell no one to comfort me! Why not? Are my problems not as good as theirs?
God, my head and heart are racing, I can feel my mind about to give into it again. No! Even the voices are at it again. I try so hard not to listen. I even take the pills. The goddamned pills! They don't even help! I can always feel it, the crave, it bites at my heels as I ran, run, always running. It's always there. It's hard to ignore.
She's the only one who can make it stop. Even more powerful than the pills. More powerful than the crave. The words. My words. Their words! Everything. More powerful than everything. Her will power helps me everyday, everystep, every breath is a battle with out her.
She's my best friend, my teacher, my gaurdian. She's my sister, my love, my world. She revolves around me. She's everything. I'd be nothing without her. I am nothing. Nothing to anybody. Not even myself.
Look down you see a fool; look up and you see a God; look straight at me and you see yourself! That's all there is. That is all I am. I am what you want me to be. I am what they want me to be. A murderer, a suicidal child, lost from faith, lost and detached from every one and every damn thing! Anyone, anything, mold me! Shape me! Make me what I am today. What you want me to be tomarrow. Anything. Everything.
