Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons.
Answer every question with a question
If someone complains about how they?re always being corrected- answer with ?no you aren?t??
Leave large gaps in between you and the people in front of you while waiting in line.
Tell the people your problems. They really want to know.
Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)
Walk up the down escalator
Tell people you?ve just been treated for tapeworms
Change the TV channel every 5 seconds (literally, count it out?)
Leave an unwrapped snickers bar in the toilet
Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more at any moment
Find something that squeaks and squeak it for a while (eg. a door)
Stir your coffee for 5 minutes
Be a bird for a day
Stare at people through the tines of a fork, pretend they are in jail.
Staple pages in the middle of the page
Ask people their gender
When you're in the line at the bank, ask the guy in front of you if he knows how to unjam a pistol.
Eat half a potato chip and put it back in the bag
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Tayels
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