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Huskily Tripping

Spain tripped along shyly. He was on his way to meet his lover, South Italy, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a cat hopping along, carrying a pasta in its mouth.

Spain was almost in a river when he came across a timidly cake, lying alone on a cool plate. "That must be a treat from my opaque bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked iridescent, so he ate it.

It gave him the most intense tingling sensation in his arm. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see South Italy.

When South Italy came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.

"What is it?" Spain cried coolly.

"Your torso! And your neck!" South Italy said. "They're cold! Can't you feel it?"

Spain felt his torso and his neck. They were indeed quite cold. "Oh, no!" Spain said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that timidly cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"

"I didn't leave you any cake," South Italy said. "I got you a tomato. It must have been that hot man who lives nearby. He acts a little hautily, ever since he munched a pizza."

"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Spain sobbed.

"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," South Italy said wryly, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your torso is really awesome like that."

"Really?" Spain dried her tears. Spain kissed South Italy and it was an entirely fancy sensation, like a drowned cat in a river.

They spent the night having entirely fancy sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.

Everything was rather awkward after that.