“What are you doing out here lulu?”
I sighed but didn’t move. “Hi Lavi.” He still looked confused, but less concerned. He sat down beside me and starred up at sky too. For a while he didn’t move and I forgot about his presence until I felt his hand stroking my arm. He ran his fingertips from my neck to my one arm. He felt so warm I realized just how cold I was. His touch sent warm shivers all through me and I grimaced. Not out of pain but the fact that he was bringing me “back”
“You’re ruining my….exorcise,” I said with a smirk.
He raised his eyebrows and smiled. “Exorcise eh? What kinda exorcise requires that you remain still in the freezing cold?”
“The kind that repels the horrible sprits that tortures you day in and out without warning,” I replied with more venom then I intended. He didn’t seem phased by my harsh and scary words. He knew what I meant, but I still got that reaction out of my sister who was used to it more than anyone.
“Ah…how am I ruining it?” He grinned as if he knew. I bet he did.
“By touching me with your warm hands, you are taking away the coldness that protects me.” He seemed to understand, like I knew he did. He nodded his head, eyes shut, still stroking my arm and neck.
“Well I’m sorry I’m ruining your “exorcise” but you’ll freeze to death out here.”
I rolled my eyes and released a sharp breath. “Death seems more pleasurable then this miserable life.” Once again I said it with too much venom. He quickly drew back his hand and clasped both of his soft warm hands around my face leaning in so close I could taste the warmth of his breath.
“Don’t you ever say or think of something like that again!” His eyes burned deeply into mine. I was a little shocked and I tilted my head as much as I could manage in his grasp.
I couldn’t speak. The intense look in his eyes froze me more than the ice-cold wind.
“S-Sorry…” was all I could manage to mumble. He seemed satisfied with that and released his hands from my face.
“Come on inside. I’ll make you feel better then the cold every could.” I could hear the impish flirting in his voice; it made me go mad, mad with desire. I balled up hands making fists and clenched my teeth together. Why did he have to make it so hard? He knew we couldn’t be together. I was dangerous, and unstable. If I ever hurt him I could never forgive myself. It was better to resist than get involved. I released my hands and relaxed my jaw.
“Please Lavi…don’t make it any harder than it has to be. We can’t-”
“I know…I know. Don’t tell me, I don’t like to hear it,” he grumbled as he laid next to me. This kind of irked me, not that he laid next to me, but what he said. I narrowed my eyes at him and frowned.
“You’re acting like a child. You can’t have everything you want ya’ know. I’m not some toy you fight to have when you know you can’t have it.” I shouldn’t have been that harsh but I was tired of having this discussion. He would break me if he kept it up.
He was silent as he sat beside me, staring at me from head to toe. I rolled my eyes at to what he could be imagining now. Despite my agitation towards him he still smiled a gentle smile that softened my harsh demeanor. I stared back into his eyes, he was breaking me…but I couldn’t look away. I don’t know how long we laid motionless next to each other. Eventually it started snowing.
“Okay, I think it’s time to go in now lulu.”
“Fine. I wasn’t out here that long.” He jumped up and waited for me by my door. I tried to move and it felt like I was lifting my arms and legs, but I didn’t move an inch.
“C’mon before you get hypothermia. The snows beautiful and all, but you can stare at it from inside.”
“Lavi, I can’t move.”
“What, are you frozen to the ground or something?”
“No,” I laughed a bit to his sarcasm, “just pull me up on my feet.”
He smiled slyly and walked to me and leaned over.
“So you can’t move eh?” Next thing I knew I was in his arms being carried to my room like a baby. Surprising enough, I didn’t mind. I debated with myself as he carried me. Should I give into temptation? Could the consequences really be that horrible? I felt my heart ach and stomach tighten. We were in my warm room that felt so good to my cold skin. He lingered after he closed the door with his shoe. Still holding me, he slowly walked to my bed and gently placed my under the covers. They felt so very soft compared to the stone I laid on.
“Well, goodnight.” He leaned forward and pressed his soft lips to my forehead. He left them there and lightly dragged them down to my nose. My heart pounded so hard I thought it would burst. He followed down to my cold lips. I tensed, but in a flash I thought about all the contradicting questions I’d confused myself with. Maybe I would regret this, maybe I wouldn’t. Maybe I should lock up all my emotions or let them flow out. Maybe this was my last chance, and if I didn’t take it, maybe I would wish I had. My heart and mind said I wouldn’t regret it; I should let out my emotions and take the chance. All this in a split second I made up my mind and broke. I felt him start to lean away but I reached for him. I kissed him and he kissed me back.
“ I want you,” I whispered, “I’m going to let myself love you without regret.” He smiled.
“You won’t regret it. I truly love you; I want to be with always.” I found some strength and pulled him down on me. We kissed and caressed each other all night, sometimes calling out each other’s names. Not a single “monster” bothered me all night. Maybe my life could be normal with Lavi to love me; and I love him back. We eventually fell asleep in each other’s arms. I dreamed pleasant dreams about Lavi and I spending eternity together. I was waked first by the light. Staring at the face of the person that I would love forever, I thought maybe…just maybe I could live a happy life now. I prayed for it to be as I went back to sleep, making the night last as long as I could.
~The End?~
Yours Truly
~Editor J.A.E~
~Editor J.A.E~
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