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I... I feel so terrible, but an odd terrible... A dead feeling... I can't really feel anything, except pain. Pain I can feel and I thank God I can because it proves to me that I'm still alive. But emotions, I can't feel anything. I should be afraid but I just feel empty. I don't even feel the usual contempt I have for everyone around me.

I don't even know why I feel this way. It could be the pills, or the depression, or the lack of sleep. All I know is I can't feel any more. Even the pain I feel is dull, not sharp like it usually is. Its an blunt pain, like a mallet rather than the knife it usually is.

I don't know how to finish this entry, I can usually come up with something but even that has left... So I guess I'll just stop writing and press submit.