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I'm sorry for what i may end up doing, but i want you and courtney both to know that you guys are my life and no matter what i'm always going to love you guys. -Sighs- God it's all because of this stupid medication...i can't take it again..I just can't..it kills me inside but at the same time it keeps me from not doing stupid things...I need it but i don't want it....Joel and courtney I love you and i'm sorry...