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ASK YOURSELF in the most silent hour of your night: must I write? Dig into yourself for a deep answer. And if this answer rings out in assent, if you meet this solemn question with a strong, simple "I must," then build your life in accordance with this necessity..." - Rainer Maria Rilke
Someone give me some Zoloft..
I am the one
Your help I've refused
Your offering hand
Just set off the fuse
Oh, I am the rock
That pushes away
I gave up tomorrow
Despite today.


Bio exam = five hours of studying last night, and coming into school an hour early to study. I felt that I knew almost all of the questions on the exam, which is good. It should almost balance out my fatally low Bio grade. smile Then Mason pissed me off. Damn, I'm so glad that I'll never have to talk to her again.

Algebra exam = forgetting how to do the logs and possibly the parabola and circle graphs. Too bad.

After the Bio exam I had to run down to my locker and stuff some crap in it before running to the bus. So I didn't really get to say goodbye to everyone. I wish I hhad said goodbye to Matt and Amber, and given a better goodbye/thank you to Prez, but I guess it's okay since I'll see them in the fall.

Then like, five minutes after I got home Shelby called the house and asked if she could come over since she missed the bus. xd

So we ate a TREMENDOUS amount of food and played all of my Gameboy games at least twice while watching Brook Hogan go out on experimental lesbian dates. It was fun. mrgreen

The only reason I'm writing this entry is because I can't get to sleep. Which is a long story. But basically, I had a dream where we're all in this house waiting for something and then Ry-Ry walks in and I start crying because he's grown a foot taller. And I'm really happy and sad while I'm hugging him until I wake up. So now it's been really hard for me to get to sleep because I'm so paranoid about the message that my subconscious is trying to tell me: that I'm hoping he'll be back for junior year. And no matter how much I tell myself that he won't, I can't help but have that little part of me that hopes. Because this year was a dud [for me] and I'd really like another person around who can make everything look just a little bit more interesting.

I hope everyone stitches themselves back together over the summer so that I can stockpile my bandaids..

Also, I'm starting to freak out about my ankle, which keeps seeming to go downhill. It's really scaring me. I mean, do I have to go through every sprint and long walk in flat shoes and jump and running stints with the fear that one more twist means the end of my meager soccer career? The ankle brace just isn't cutting it, guys. Every little lump of grass that's an inch taller than the stuff around it gives my ankle a little painful jerk that gives me an even more painful jerk of fear. Then Jenny starts telling me to suck it up but I CAN'T. Because I'm SCARED.

Gah.

I look forward to reading and vegging and swimming and biking and running and sweating and laughing and trying to revitalize myself.






User Comments: [2] [add]
Weaselletta
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Sun Jun 21, 2009 @ 02:04am
Me also. Rather than this summer being a cap between the previous school year and the next, like it has in the past, I propose that we treat it like it's on thing. This is Summer, not just something to fill in the gap.


commentCommented on: Sun Jun 21, 2009 @ 04:28am
and how do you propose we do that val?


also, i would maybe start considering surgery for your ankle confused



ChristeneDaae
Community Member
User Comments: [2] [add]
 
 
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