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No, this isn't a rant. This is what I like to call an "emo moment."

I'm surprised that no one I know in real life has noticed this yet, but I am very paranoid and have horrible self-esteem issues. The fact that I don't get very good feedback isn't helping at all. I can see right through my parents' pretending to care. At least my brother is honest..

My problem with self-esteem is that I accept my flaws WAY too easily. I know my drawing sucks compared to everyone else's. I know I'm not as smart as you. I know you can do a lot of things better than I can. (See my point? Accepted way too easily)

The problem is that when I try my hardest, someone jumps in to try and make me feel inferior. And it works. When it seems like I'm bragging, I'm just really happy with myself for trying. (Like grades, for example) Then for my paranoia, I get afraid because I think that you think I'm annoying.

Now for my paranoia problem. I always get that vibe that everyone hates me, and secretly thinks I'm annoying. I get really scared when that happens, because I get that vibe around some of my "best" friends. Unfortunately, I only have two friends I can open up to. One a guy, and one a girl. The others want to either get away, or just tell me to suck it up then don't shut up about their lives being worse.

What I'm trying to say is, take it easy on me. It's not like I'm feeling suicidal, but I'd like to not have to be scared and sad every minute of the day. I already categorize myself as depressed.. D: