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Well, my happy easy going personality is going away again. Only to be replaced by my sadness and pure loneliness. She doesn't trust me with "big matters. like love" anymore. God, I hate feeling like this. We went out for this whole school year and a little longer. We shared happy private moments together. Valentines, birthdays, holidays. I miss being able to just, talk to her on the phone! Let alone hug her, hold her, and kiss her.

"You just stood there screaming, Fearing no one was listening to you, They say the empty can rattles the most, The sound of your voice must soothe you, Hearing only what you want to hear, And knowing only what youve heard, You youre smothered in tragedy, Youre out to save the world."

Metallica, Def Leppard. Those two band's music have helped me through a lot of hard times. And now they are helping me again. Its a beautiful thing the way how a band helps the fan. Almost as beautiful as my old girlfriend. She was more beautiful. I loved her eyes. Her sense of humor. Her voice. Her personality.... I miss her in moments like this.... Wishing she was here, next to me, resting her head on my shoulder as she watched me write about something else in my journal.... I will probably never get to experience those moments ever again. Its really sad when you think about it... I should probably try and get some sleep now....

Goodnight