Currently...all hope of mine is lost. My direction is suprisingly neutral. Follow the life god wants you to no scratch that, follow the life god gave to you to follow and give him your life back and your soul, follow the ways and never give up. Life is hard and is a bit of a challenge and anyone can make it through. Never say never, mainly because never is just an excuse for won't....won't means not gonna try((basicly means your giving up)) I myself say never ever once in a while, I'm not perfect. Yet again no one is ... not even Bill Gates. Well sorry I'm kinda getting off topic of my little disscusion I'm trying to express out in this little journal of mine. Let me rephrase the start of this entry. Currently a part of my hope is lost. The part of hope that I have lost is my hope of finding true love. True love can only be found in the one you'd know you'd want to spend your whole life with....not a second are you not thinking about them. I'm young and I understand that I haven't experinced enough to be stating what I have but the world around me is showing me that it's not easy nor fun and games.
Sometimes I act as if nothing is wrong with the world but there is something always wrong with the world. I'm not trying to state the world is basicly hell but in my opinion it is well I guess now I just stated that it is...wow my bad. I you are reading this, it might mean you care about me oh well who knows. (( comment if you are reading this)) Well back to my love problems. 
Yup I'm actually gonna go on about my problems! So this will give you a chance to act like oprah or Dr.Phill who knows but yeah just shut up and listen!
Well I just broke up with Brad....yeah the guy that I fell for the last time I posted.....yeah that relationship turned out as another complete fail 
Oh well, he is a nice guy and all but it just didn't work out. I'd be happy if it did work out but at the sametime I'm happy it didn't. Not to be mean or anything it's just that the boy I liked for about a year now asked me out 5 days after my break up with Brad. The boys name is 
Yeah it's just cameron! :3 Long story behind this guy but I think I'll share a few things. I met Cameron because of my friends Ben and Sergio. Basicly and slightly because of Manda-Panda. Actually this is kinda a messed up thing that I like her ex but oh well. ((Sorry Mom)) Anyways, I'd usually go to school everyday with out even thinking about it and just randomly hangout with them. But before that I do remember the first day I met Cameron I asked him for a hug...I know what a whore, nah I'm not like that I just wanted to hug him. What? he seemed huggable. Well then back to further into the future. Eh, everyday basicly I'd wait in the morning before class started for him to arrive at school..yeah stalker material right?? I know...well while waiting, I'd find Angel and Sergio to hang with in the mean time. Then when he'd come we'd instantly go and greet him. He is a real nice guy and when you get to know him he is a tottal sweet heart
I don't know totally alot about him even if I've known him for about a year I'd like to know a tad bit more cause you know I'm a total stalker!
Well, when he sadly wasn't with Manda-panda anymore it was a sad thing. I felt bad and of course I wouldn't confess anything that I held inside at a time like this. Well a couple of days from that day past and I felt like I should say something...but I couldn't....
too shy...eheh. I was gonna tell him after my birthday party. Well planning that turned into an instant disaster......BIG disaster 
yeah hehe I'm not good with planning things like this. Well my party was fun and stuff but sadly the news that he is taken yet again come up. So yeah that heart and that day after my party I'm happy that he stayed for a while after the party but I didn't act up at all! I was a good girl! While we went to drop him of I remembered I cuddled into his arms and was " like lets huddle like penguins!" So we did and I liked it alot! His arms were so warm. Wow....sorry too much information! So I guess I got over that fact that he was taken but....I kinda felt like giveing up on him....not joking I mean if he wanted you he'd ask for you. So me and him stayed pretty good friends after that. 
((with out you<3)) Anyways. then about a month after that! I guess something went down and then on Wed. He asked me out. Well I said yes. Ever since that day I can't stop thinking about him. I like him might even be in love with him in a way but I can't really say that fer sure until about 2 months from now. I hope nothing goes wrong....like the others did. I mean I really like him and I'd practicly die! If I lost him not just as a boyfriend but as a friend in general! I wouldn't want him to think anything volgar of me. Well...another bad thing is that I have to keep this a secret from my mom....if she knew all of hell will and WOULD break lose..I've told him about this subject and he was kinda cool with it but I pray 
to god that nothing will ruin this chance I got with a guy like him <3
(she isn't raping him XD it's a glomping nuzzle nuzzle~)
By the way Vanna is getting really nervous and feels like a dead turtle on her back. She is so nervous that she is coloring her note book that was origanaly red to pitch black.
