Our past is deeper than the deepest ocean
thoughts, feelings, confusion and emotion
the scars are deep but the memory never fades
I watch our friendship fall and cascade
down plummeting to rock bottom.
Wake up.
I pick myself up only to fall again
I think over the past but what is in your past is their for some shallow reason
times change and so will this season
I scribble a new drawing hard thinking maybe if I press hard enough it will erase everything just a complete black out, maybe I'll wake up and it never happened maybe I can breathe again without my heart beating so damn fast when I think about it im just in some bad dream waiting to wake up and hold him but no, im not dreaming no Im not holding him I hit my head wake up..
I hit my head for thinking that everytime I think of anything like that seeming
to think that the past didn't matter. Which of course it did
It came to me tumbling down like broken plates all in a clatter.
Wake up.
Nothing lasts forever no matter how hard you try and make it everything ends,
your born in this world alone as we all will leave it alone. Dead.
My tears begin to stain my cheeks there is no point in wiping them away maybe if
I just let it carry on they will stop they have to no feelings and no voice on the phone
Wake up.
The voice I used to remember so well, now I forget it I can't remember it is just but a distant memory the things we said, we will never accomplish.
He will never meet me so he never knows who I truly am he knows alot about me but he doesn't know the real me and I suppose he never would want to.
I sit and think about what tommorrow may bring
as I lay on the harsh grass and listen to the birds sing.
I purposefully hit my head as I keep falling and hoping to fall back down to reality.
I remember a song 'Do you feel like a man as you push her around, do you feel better now as she falls to the ground' well just maybe he does..
Wake up.
Wanting to be friends again is like pretending the past didn't happen trying to make up for it I'll still love him in some way I always will no matter the hurt but the past is deep and just to hard to ignore.
It happened I can't pretend it didn't, it can't be undone we did have a past it was unlike anything i've ever felt but it is the thing that causes me the most pain it is my weakness, tired and sore.
 x-Deathz_Passiion-x · Sun Aug 30, 2009 @ 12:39pm · 0 Comments |
