Hey there. So I wrote this a while ago (2-3 years back), but decided to bring it back to show you guys. Could I have some feedback?
"The Soldier's Promise"
Cases are packed and the plane won’t wait.
Yet she can’t seem to say goodbye.
He whispers to her that he’ll be late,
A letter clutched in his hands.
To where he’s going, it’s his bait.
He slides his hands into hers,
And through her hair, so straight.
And his promise rings in her ears:
“Though you may worry and cry for me
I promise you I will be safe.
Please don’t try to plea,
You know I have to go.
And I will let your heart be free
If you meet another man.
And now I leave you peacefully
With my promise in your ears.”
First a month and then two.
Tears flow like rain.
Her glistening eyes show the view
Straight into her heart, sad and lonely.
She desperately worries, she has no clue!
Is her true love alive?
She watched him, away he flew.
With his promise in her ears.
Flips on the TV to find some comfort
Brushing away protesting tears.
But what she finds just adds the hurt.
A horrific news story, sad but true.
The hard ground of red-brown dirt.
But that’s not the worst of it.
A sudden loud “BANG” and a torn-up shirt.
He can’t keep his promise is what she fears.
She cries out in desperate woe.
His promise echoing loud.
She knew in her mind he had to go,
But her heartache spoke strong.
She would have liked to tell him no,
That there were many more to fight.
But now, forever, she will know
His promise, loud and clear
She now carries, in her bag
As a reminder to her heart,
A simple, small American Flag
To tell her what he’d done.
And in her eyes, a constant nag,
A threaten of those tears.
But they always seem to lag
Behind the promise in her ears.
And then, one day, a knock at the door.
She opens it, wounded animal.
She drops the dish towel to the floor,
For standing in the doorway
Is her true love for forevermore!
She throws herself into his arms,
A warm-hearted love’s lore.
And he softly repeated the promise for her ears:
“Though you worried and cried for me,
I promised you I would be safe.
You desperately tried to plea,
But you always knew I had to go.
And though I let your heart be free,
You met no other man.
So much for leaving you peacefully,
But my promise was in your ears.”
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Claire's RP Journal
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partiegirl14
Community Member |
'Sup I'm Claire. Wanna RP? I'm up for anything. Literate please, and boys only. Free art is loved too! :]
I like pandas...roll panda roll!
[img:34819140e3]http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r74/lovebelows/cute%20stuff/panda.gif[/img:34819140e3]
[img:34819140e3]http://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm16/HieiLawliet/icons/thendoftheworld.gif[/img:34819140e3]
^Youtube, Ze end of ze world^[/color:34819140e3][/size:34819140e3]
I like pandas...roll panda roll!
[img:34819140e3]http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r74/lovebelows/cute%20stuff/panda.gif[/img:34819140e3]
[img:34819140e3]http://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm16/HieiLawliet/icons/thendoftheworld.gif[/img:34819140e3]
^Youtube, Ze end of ze world^[/color:34819140e3][/size:34819140e3]