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Dear SHELBY-SHELB xD ,
That is your rapper name, just to let you know. haha. 'Yo my name is Shelby. They call me Shelby-Shelb i'm from Massachusetts. Everybody say SHELBY IN DA HOUSE. SHELBY IN DA HOOUUSE! word. Thats right i wrote that for you. No, lets be serious here, this letter comes straight from the heart. Not from the brain, or the feet or the nose or the peniis. : O but from heart. Now Shelby is such a beautiful girl, she is like the painting, and I, i am the artist. Shelby is made out of 100% gold. Yes 100%. not 60% or 10% but 100%. Everyday i wake up and i say 'Shelby, What is 4 5 darkness' and she reply with the most graceful answer ever. You have a singing voice of a black lady, but the mind, the mind of a Gisele, a gisele leaping and running threw the grass on a nice summer day. Where is the gisele going? Where is it going? Is it running away from a Cheetah? or is it soaring the sky like a blue bird on christmas morning. Shelby is that bird. Shelby is everything and everyone. Shelby completes us all, One day i will be as wise as shelby, but i am just a boy. A sad sad boy with no hope or dreams. But Shelby you are my hope and my dreams. Shelby is a flashlight looking through the dark night. No not Bat Man. Not bat man at all, but the night sky. Shelby is the night sky, Shelby is the stars and the moon. Everyone loves shelby, because Shelby is one of the greatest creatures on the planet. Shelby is the staples to the stapler. And the legs on a dog. When Shelby calls 1-900 numbers, she doesnt get charged. She holds up the phone and money falls out. Shelby's house has no doors, only walls that she walks through. A picture is worth a thousand words. A Shelby is worth 1 billion words. Shelby doesn't bowl strikes, she just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint. Shelby can touch MC Hammer. Shelby's tears cure cancer, Too bad she has never cried. Shelby does not sleep, She waits. Shelby can do a wheelie on a unicycle. Shelby can slam revolving doors. Shelby can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon. Shelby can build a snowman out of rain. Shelby can play the violin with a piano. Shelby can drown a fish. When God said, "Let there be light", Shelby said, "say please." Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Shelby can throw Brett Favre even further. Shelby doesn't use pickup lines, she simply says, "Now." Shelby doesn't play "hide-and-seek." She plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you." Helen Keller’s favorite color is Shelby. Shelby doesn't run from tornadoes, tornadoes run from her. Shelby has never blinked in her entire life, Never. Shelby doesn’t need to swallow when eating food. Shelby ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one. Shelby is the reason why Waldo is hiding. Shelby can strangle you with a cordless phone. Shelby can hear sign language. When Shelby was in middle school, her English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" Shelby received an A for turning in a blank page with only her name at the top. Shelby beat the sun in a staring contest. Shelby's dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Shelby will not take s**t from anyone. Shelby can run a 3-legged race by herself. When Shelby jumps into a pool, she doesn't get wet, the water gets shelbyed. Shelby can clap with one hand. Shelby can sneeze with her eyes open. Jesus can walk on water, but Shelby can swim through land. Shelby CAN believe it's not butter. Shelby only masturbates to pictures of Shelby. Shelby has never used a seat belt, because nothing holds Shelby back. Shelby never failed a test in school. Tests failed Shelby. Shelby got into a fight with herself... and won. Shelbycan get Mexican food at a Japanese restaurant. Jesus did not make Shelby, Shelby made Jesus. When you die you don't go to heaven, you go to Shelby. Unlike Santa Claus, Shelby doesn't need to check her list twice. Shelby can draw a square with only 3 lines. Shelby can eat water with a fork. Some people can make animal shapes out of balloons,
Shelby can do the same with human organs. When Gotham City needs help, they call on Batman, When Batman needs help, he calls on Shelby. Shelby is not only a noun but a verb. Shelby can start a fire, with water. There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Shelby. Baldness will be considered sexy only if Shelby goes bald. Shelby doesn't have a watch, SHE decides what time it is. Shelby is the ONLY person who can spell Keaton's lastname.

Love Yours Truly,
Keaton Kauhnuphichaiet


HAHAHAH I loooove you, Keaton.