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I have really ******** things up this time. The pooch is screwed and all that good stuff....
I think it is obvious that when I am given a choice between interacting with humanity or isolating myself in pure hatred, I will always choose the latter. Why? Because my own self-hatred engulfs me to the point where I become uncomfortably weird around those whom I shouldn't and I end up turning from any embrace do to a general plague of misanthropic distrust. It is vile and only brings emotional, mental, and physical self-mutilation upon me.
Have you ever punched yourself in the face with all your might out of a wrathful disappointment with yourself? It's not a fun as it may sound.... The migraine will murder you.
On a more infuriating note, I have to spend the entirety of this upcoming semester trapped within the presence of a self-righteous, vulgar and arrogant b*****d who only angers me more with his consistent insults upon everything I deem valuable in this pathetic life as well as the only people that I respect. Why does everything unfold into a s**t-laden mosaic of misfortune? I can not even have the peace to enjoy the few friendships I am trying to maintain without this idiot constantly trying to debase their image! I honestly do not know why I haven't slit his throat yet.... Oh. That's right. I'm not a fan of imprisonment followed by a disgraceful execution.
Also, a face from my past keeps popping into my life every day now. We have established the fact of how we relate to one another in the present and will no longer even think about what it was like in the past. That entanglement was vile and corruptive and will never live again. Not even within the darkest depths of Hell. I have new horizons to consider anyway. I will not be chained by the thoughts of the night that will keep me from pursuing the day!
What will the day have in store? I do not know. My mind has dwelled on that far too much as of late. Even though it inspires a hope, I do not want it to become a deception of twisted over-optimism. No, I shall not fall to the claws of that fate again, though I do doubt the purpose to be malevolent.
Oh well, I will sit by and wait as we all go one by one to meet our b*****d maker.