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funny stuff i find along the internet!!
15 Things to do in Walmart
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"
How to do Naruto!
Eat ramen for breakfast,lunch,and dinner
Stick ur hand in a electric box and scream chidori as u pass out
Roll ur eyes behind ur head and scream Byakugan
Dye ur head blond,black, or pink and try 2 run up a tree.
Trade in ur hat for a forhead protector
Claim ur gonna kill ur best friend 2 get a better Sharigan
Copy everything a person does and claim its ur bloodline
Graduate highshool and proclaim ur self as Anbu
List Anbu as current occupation on a job application
spout out a random character quote on command
Decide to call your moral code your "ninja way"
When you run, you run with your arms behind you
Try to walk on top of a hot spring
When someone asks you what your dream is, say that its to be Hokage
Write your name in blood on a big scroll
Take a leave of absence for 2½ years and when you come back pretend you're cooler and smarter
You dye your hair red and carry around bags of sand.
You carve the Hokage's faces on a mountain.
You name your dog Akamaru or Pakkun.
You always wear sunglasses and keep bugs in your pockets.
You get red contacts and claim you are from the Uchiha bloodline.
You always wear green, skintight clothes.
When you do something stupid, you claim you were being controlled by the Shadow Possesion Jutsu.
You dye your hair white and spy on girls.
You collect frogs and claim to be a Toad Sage.
FEMALE COMEBACKS!!
pick up line comebacks, add to it
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together
Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.
Man: Do you have a map? Because I am lost in your eyes.
Woman: The only map I've got for you leads straight off a cliff.
On a Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping. (but that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos
..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how...?)
On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought...?)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)
On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
On T-Rat (Military food):
Its not for Human Consumption, Animals and Military Use only (Hmm, no wonder less people are joining the military nowadays...)
 DBZSSJgirl · Thu Dec 24, 2009 @ 02:57am · 2 Comments |
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