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The Forgotten
Whatever I feel.
Shino's Thoughts
This is a fanfic I wrote about what Shino saw/though in comatose..It's not funny, so don't think it's that kind of fan fic >-<; It's actually kind of sad..Anyway! It's not done but read and comment!!


A small smile spread onto her face as she turned away.
“ You are going to let them leave like that? “
She stood there in silence as she stared into the glistening oceans.
“ Leave to where? It’s just data. Nothing in this world is real, neither is their love. “
“ But what if… “
“ Then let it be so. “
Her sighs were real though her tears were nothing but data particles put into a system of numbers and codes. The real world had escaped her, ‘ The World ‘ as she knew it was changing, and here she was, everything spinning and blending.
“ I was…away for a year? “
“ If that. “
“ Ah. I see. It seems longer. “
“ So what was it like, in the dark parts of ‘ The World ‘? “
She stood there, her stare continuing, becoming more of a saddened glare as she thought about the answer she was going to give.
“ It was…As if I was watching everything that happened from a third person’s point of view. I lied there…And I watched as they talked, they enjoyed, and everyone fought to save ‘ The World ‘. I wanted to help. I saw him, and screamed, but he never heard me. Then I saw her and knew he would never even look back. I was frozen in my own hell. It seemed impossible and it seemed as though I was never going to leave. I felt myself cringe as he held her close to his heart. I always kept telling myself, ‘ That should be me ‘, but it never was. I cried and screamed his name; for anyone’s name. No one ever came. No one ever heard. “
She took a long breathe as she continued to explain.
“ And then after watching it all, I felt something. For the first time…In so long I felt something in my body. I moved. I opened my eyes and I screamed. As I looked around though, I was no longer in the data stream of ‘ The World ‘, nor was I in Ovan’s arm. If you would call me ‘ being in it ‘. I felt the sun beam down upon my skin. I had become so pale being in the little room without the warmth or light of day. For a few moments I lied there and tried to take it all in. I looked around, and tried many things to make sure I was actually awake. To make sure I was infact there; I was. It didn’t take long though after my few moments of silence for someone to realize I was awake. They all came rushing in, Examining me and doing tests, I barely got a chance to breathe. They surrounded me and kept asking how I felt. All I could manage to get out was ‘ I’m fine, please let me see him ‘. They didn’t know who. They didn’t know why. They ignored every pleading cry I let out. It was worse then being in limbo in ‘ The World ‘.
Then, after about two hours, he came in. His eyes looked like death, but it was him. For about ten minutes he stood in the doorway to my room and stared at me. It made me feel so weird. So much like a freak, or like I was somewhere I shouldn’t be. He had betrayal in his eyes, along with shock, and sadness. In a way I made myself believe he never wanted me to wake up. I believed he wanted me to lie there so he could be with her. Forever, alone, without me to intrude.
I stared back at him though, a pleasant look glistening through my eyes as I got myself to smile. I didn’t want to though, for I knew what he did. I never told him. I never said what I saw. How I saw him and her together, how I saw them meet, and get to know each other. I never told him how I saw him fall in love with her and vise versa. All I did was smile.
Eventually he found his way away from the door and to my bed. He embraced me in such a way that it made me feel like I was dying instead of just waking up. He made me feel important in that moment. Like nothing or no one else mattered; I liked it. I got up the strength to hug him also, but my grip was not as tight, so when he went to pull away, he slipped. Fell out of my reach just like before. My arms dropped to my sides and I started to fall. I felt his warmth embrace my body again as he caught me. It didn’t feel as good as before though. ‘ Doctor! ‘ He yelled and I pushed my finger to his lips. ‘ Hush. I’m fine. Please do not call them in again. ‘ I pleaded to him. He had an unsure look upon his face, but after a few moments he nodded and set me back up right in bed. ‘ How…Are you feeling? ‘ Was all he seemed to muster up; I knew he had more. ‘ Tired. Weak. But over all fine. ‘ I turned and gave him a gentle smile to reassure him, it did. I wanted to tell him right there ‘ I saw you! I saw you with her! You promised me, you swore you would save me, but you fell for her instead. Why, Haseo? Why? ‘ But I didn’t. My mind yelled at me not to, even when my heart pleaded for me to. I had another inner conflict as my outer being was innocent, calm, and pleasant. ‘ How about yourself, Haseo, how did you manage without me? ‘ I asked as if I was completely oblivious to what he had done. Oblivious to everything that I saw. But he didn’t know, so even though he had built up guilt, he didn’t think I could see it; I could. Even if I didn’t watch his actions, his face told the whole story. ‘ Me? Well you should be worried about yourself, Shino, not me. ‘ He laughed a little, a nervous, spacey laugh. In a way I believed he wasn’t even here with me right now. I believed he had left himself in ‘ The World ‘ with her. I believed that even though it was ill minded of me. ‘ I see…So, nothing happened then? ‘ I tried to be as discreet as possible, I wasn’t aware if it worked or not, for I glanced out the bight window, staring down upon the crowded streets.
Even though I was no longer holding eye contact with him, I could feel the tension in the room. It surrounded him and choked him, almost like I wanted to do. ‘ Well I didn’t say nothing, Shino, just nothing interesting is all. ‘ My a**. ‘ What about Atoli? Why haven’t you brought her up yet?! I know she is important, Haseo, I know who she is, so just say it! Say you love her! ‘ ‘ Sounds…Boring. ‘ Was all I slipped out. There was rage, confusion, and sadness built up in me at that moment, but I held it back and just kept a cold stare out the window. ‘ Very. ‘ He replied in a dead tone. ‘ So, Shino, when are you coming back to us on ‘ The World ‘ ? ‘ He asked as if he was more worried then he was curious or anxious about having me back. ‘ Whenever they let me out of here. ‘ This was the truth. I planned to get on and let him know everything once I was out of this place. This cold hospital.
‘ That’s great!…’ He tried to sound enthusiastic, and to a common person, this would have worked. But I was not a common person, so there for it did not. ‘ Well, we really miss you on there, Shino. It’s just not the same without you! ‘ He continued to put on this fake voice, a smile going with his bull s**t. ‘ I bet…’ Was all I mumbled out. ‘ What was that? ‘ He didn’t hear me; good. ‘ Just saying, I want out of her! ‘ I said in a giggle as I turned to him and smiled a big childish yet calm smile. ‘ I’m sure you do, I couldn’t imagine being stuck in this place for so long. I’d go crazy. ‘ He smiled more as he spoke, as if we were just two best friends having an every day conversation. In his mind, though, I suppose we were just that. In my mind, we were enemies speaking about things we really didn’t care about, pin pointing every little weakness. Every flaw. He never thought this though, I could see it in his eyes. He was so innocent yet so guilty. He was oblivious to what I knew or how I knew it. After another thirty minutes or so of needless talking, the room fell into silence. It wasn’t right, and I knew it.
‘ Listen, Shino…’ Was he going to say it? Was he going to admit it?! No…He wasn’t that stupid. He knew I would kill him. Though it wouldn’t be a bad place to die, they wouldn’t have to carry his body far. Hell use my bed, I didn’t need it anymore. ‘ Yes, Haseo? ‘ I turned to him again after staring out the window, looking at really nothing at all. ‘ There is something that happened while you were in comatose. It’s actually the reason you are awake…It’s about Ovan. ‘ Huh? Ovan? What happened to Ovan? Was he alright? I almost completely forgot about him…After the fight, everything went dark and then I awoke. I gave him my full attention now. How could I be so selfish? Ovan was the reason I was who I was today! ‘ Ovan…Is he alright? ‘ I whispered as if I was trying to keep a secret from those who may be listening on the outside. Haseo stared at the clean white floor, silence filling the room yet again. ‘ Haseo…Answer me. Where is Ovan? What happened? ‘ He looked up at me then, death again struck his eyes. ‘ He’s gone, Shino. ‘ I felt my face freeze. I felt it fall too as did my body. Haseo, this time though, moved too slow and I hit the cold floor. It wasn’t as cold as I felt though on the inside. ‘ Shino. Shino! Answer me, are you alright?! ‘ I knew he was screaming but he sounded so distant. ‘ Gone…? ‘ Was all I could get out. He was gone? Where could he have gone to? ‘ Oh so you have time to save your little girlfriend in ‘ The World ‘ but not Ovan or myself?! Haseo, you are so self centered! You are so…heartless…’ My thoughts started to fade though as I felt wetness upon my face; I was crying. ‘ Shino…’ He was no longer yelling, instead he sat on the floor, holding me again as if I was about to die. ‘ Shino, he isn’t dead. He is in a coma, just like you were. The only reason you are awake right now though is because he reset the whole data base, including himself. Shino, you have to understand, he did this for you…’ Even though I knew I wasn’t comforted, I had to make him believe I was. The quicker I made people believe that, the quicker I could get the hell out of here and onto ‘ The World ‘ to make things right.
After being put back into bed for the second time that day, Haseo left and more doctors filled the room. They tested and they examined, but I ignored it all. ‘ Ovan…How could you let Haseo do this to you? ‘ Was all I could keep thinking as I stared out the window. The day became darker until it fell to night. Finally, a friendly face entered the room; my land lord. ‘ Yeah, friendly. ‘ I smiled at him though as he told me to get dressed and when I was done to come to the lobby, that he’d be waiting down there to take me home. Apparently, I was fine. They couldn’t keep holding me to run more tests, so they had to let me go. Though the mystery of my coma still boggled their minds. As I exited the doors, the icey cold air hit me in a huge burst, making me smile and bundle up at the same time.
The drive home was short, thank God, and after I thanked him and he gave me the key back to my appartment, I ran upstairs and busted into the room, ignoring the pain that ran throughout my body. I ran to the computer and quickly through on my virtual ware for ‘ The World ‘. Welcome back, Shino. The computer said in a moderate voice, the lights coming on and the music of ‘ The World ‘ playing. ‘ Thank you. ‘ I whispered as I put on the helmet and gripped the keyboard as if my life depended on it. It was time to log back in, and this time, I wasn’t the pleasant Shino everyone had always seen…”

"So you went online and what happened? To me, you seem like the same loving Shino everyone always knew."
"Yes. It wasn't as easy as I thought it would be." She said with a small sigh.
" I asked both of them to meet me at Delta: Hidden Forbidden Holy Ground. Haseo arrived first. I knew this was going to happen. He didn't know what to do, this I could tell for he stood there just like he did in the hospital doorway, mouth a gape. All he could get out was ' Shino...' I simply turned and smiled at him. We talked and then Atoli came. It became silent and awkward before she said goodbye in an upset voice and stormed off out of the building. Haseo, of course, turned and called after her but it was too late. He turned back to me and I simply stared ahead, away from his sight. I knew what I had to say, what I had to do...But I needed to make sure. ' Let's...Let's start the Twilight Brigade again.' ' Huh..? ' He had a shocked tone in his voice as I knew he would but I continued. ' With just the two of us. ' I turned to look at him now, smiling slightly. ' We'll go find Ovan. ' He stood there for a moment and stared at me before glancing away. ' I, Uh..' Was all he slipped out. I turned to face him completely now. ' Haseo... ' He glanced at me, a slightly upset and worried expression upon his face. I knew the answer to my question and so did he. This was the time to let him know...But all my anger was gone. ' I saw it all. Everything. ' I kept my eyes closed as I said these words. His tone was more desperate now. ' Shino..? ' I took a breathe and looked up at him, trying to hold in my tears. ' Now be honest with yourself. ' Was all I said. His expression was surprised but then calmed into a smile. He was happy I accepted her. Though he never really knew how I felt. He nodded before running off, after her, without saying another word to me. The doors closed and I turned yet again away to glance one last time at where Aura used to be. ' You're watching, aren't you? Ovan...' After that..I am not aware of their actions. I heard her happiness though, ringing throughout this holy ground. I heard his too. In a way...I knew he still loved me, but she had won his heart..."

"So this..this my friend, is why I let them go because in the end she did something I didn't. She was with him when I couldn't be..." Shino walked off then and away from the person she was talking to. They stared after her as she faded into the crowd. " Shino..." He gently smiled. " Shino, I was watching. You never had to say a word..."






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zawardo
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Sun Feb 14, 2010 @ 05:50am
you won't let me pm you back


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