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God damn its been a long time since I did one of these! My life is just too fast for me to handle... I need to slow down and take a breather...
Alright, so to catch you up, since we last met,
A) I moved back to Florida and got all nice and cozy and settled in
B) My stepfather was deployed to war (I'm actually webcamming with him as I type.)
and 3) I went through two girlfriends, became bisexual as far as two girls know, led a gay guy on, got married twice, got divorced twice, converted to Wicca, became a member of GSA, started a band, learned to write music, met my entire family tree, got my ears pierced (and gauged for a day) and developed a relationship with a Scandinavian reindeer!
In other news, I've been developing a relationship with a friend of mine thats just making it all the more fun to watch my ex squirm for. She know she was wrong, and my friend hates her (and will also be the first to read this if I know her very well) So this is just getting too good! Before anyone asks, ITS NOT ROMANTIC! WE'RE JUST FRIENDS!!! I've been saying that a lot lately, but yeah... ^^
Other then that, my life has been rather uneventful... My paranoia is getting worse now that more people know my past... But thats about it, I'm constantly seeing things that aren't there, hearing things that don't exist, and I always have the feeling I'm being watched... I don't know where to let off on this because I don't know where I got on... It feels like my mind is being poisoned and I cant do anything but stand and watch as it happens to me and slowly tries to kill me like I know I deserve...
"Love is merely the perfect illusion, a thought so powerful and so compelling that it has led the greatest of men to madness, greater still men to death, and the least of man to create this quote. It is not real and it never shall be so long as pain exists in this world."
I try my best to get through to everyone that I'm not gay, and that the though of being with another man in that way disgusts me (*Supportive of LGBT*), but I guess the way I act, the fact that I only hang out with girls, and the fact that I can actually get a guy (even if I don't want one) automatically make me gay... So I'll allow them to believe what they want and in the meantime I'll know what is true. I know those that really matter to me know the truth, and that's all that counts in my eyes.
Were I to display to you the thoughts that run through my head everyday, I don't know how you would react... Lately my mind is becoming more and more obscure, I'm used to having fights with myself (having MPD) but its getting out of hand to the degree where I would question myself and my motives, I don't feel like I know who I am anymore... Am I Joey...? Am I Overlight...? Am I SiegeTheCastle...? I don''t know what to think anymore because I don't know if its me thinking...
I think that does it for this week's vent session. Thanks for reading.
 Xx_FatelessDeath_xX · Sat Mar 20, 2010 @ 05:27am · 1 Comments |
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