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have fun reading, please message me what you think about them
THE SHADOW'S HEART
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prolouge:

hello, i am Allen Vielgray and this is my story. i will start off with telling you a little about myself. i am 16, i have white hair (don't ask, it is very hard to explain) and i am pale (almost ghostly) white, i was born in September but we do not know the day exactly because of some things that go on. i live in a small town called redstone. it is peaceful here and there are very few gangs and even though there are some they are very small. i have lived here since i was 2 and i pretty much grew up with everyone here in a way. i like metal and dark music though i am a pretty happy guy at times. i have a couple secrets that no one in this school knows. but you will find that out as you read now let us start the story






User Comments: [1] [add]
Caloca Vera
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Wed May 26, 2010 @ 01:02am
Really good prologue, but i feel like something's missing...
Hm....How is he feeling while he's writing this...?
Like...what's your intention, y'know, what do you want the reader to feel as their reading this?

I have no idea how to explain it... x-x


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