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Out of Reason to Believe [Like I Matter to the One I Need] |
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"Shut up boy!"
The voice caused the young girl to actually stop and turn around to stare at her father with a meek and horrified expression. She felt her body hit the ground and was certain she could feel her muscles working to trying and pull her back up so that, if nothing else she could protect herself. The first slap to the face did not come as a shock, so separated from herself the young girl was to concerned with regaining her grip on reality. "How many times do I have to remind you?" She could hear the threats in her father's tone, and could feel her body trying to scamper away. However, the whole situation was to dreamlike and far away for her to work alongside her body. So despite the fight in her muscles her body remained completely still. "You keep screwing up. You're going to get us killed...." The man growled and grabbed up the still girl by her neck, setting her back on her wobbly feet.
She had not felt fear or shame in such a long time, and was certain death would have been a welcome friend. "What good are you?" She had heard that question so many times, and only a few months ago still had the courage to answer her father when he asked. She had since learned that he was not actually looking for a person to talk to or rationality when he was in this mood and that her only purpose to him was to stand there and be yelled at. She was certain she should be fighting back, it's what she had seen the other street boys doing. They fought back against adults that mistreated them, but then again those boys did not screw up as she did. "Ev you tell me right now..." She doubted she should actually answer honestly, and did not even hear the question posed to her and felt her body hit the gravel again.
Couldn't her father have picked a better spot to have this argument? She would have preferred to land in the grass or the dirt. Gravel cut and hurt. She did not feel the bleeding, and was only somewhat aware that she was even injured anymore.
"Ev, you answer me or I promise you that your...." Once again his voice drowned out and instead of feeling a hit or being lifted she saw him walk away. The girl propped herself up on her elbows, curious about what exactly her father had in mind. Her father had always treated her this way, for as long as she could remember. She distantly recalled someone telling her that her mother, a beautiful woman, had passed away during childbirth and she felt the old pangs of responsibility and guilt. Uselessness washed over her as she saw the silhouette of her father returning. She had never been a girl in that man's eyes and so far as most of the town was concerned she did not exist as a girl either. No one had use for a weak little girl, not on the streets and not in her father's guild. The master had been the first to suggest she might make a great pickpocket because of her size. However he had been a more intelligent man that her father and suggested that she be dressed and act as her gender designated.
Her father would have none of that and never stopped calling her Ev and never stopped dressing her as a boy. The girl wondered if her father was simply afraid of her being like her mother, but...the thought slipped out of her head.
His hand grabbing her arm, cutting off the circulation grabbed her back to the reality of her situation and suddenly she felt her feet dragging beneath her, in a desperate attempt to keep up with the speed set by her father. "Today is your birthday Ev, don't think I have forgotten. I have a present, but it's at the hall." Ev's birthday was not the same birthday as her own, but two days after. The girl often wondered if in the two days she had been a girl to her father if he had loved her in a different fashion. She did not mind this kind of attention that she had to label love for her own sanity, but that did not stop her childish mind from wishing. She knew the truth though. She had never been anyone other than Ev to her father. The two days had been out of respect to the only woman he had loved.
(Another one of those quick writing things....
I'm not sure if it's any good as I didn't bother to read it before posting....
Nor do I intend to read it until....mmmm Monday...although I'm gonna try continuing it as it is not finished.
Sooooo yeaaaaaaaa)
 Evelie Harte · Thu Jul 01, 2010 @ 05:58am · 0 Comments |
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