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Yeah, this isn't important. |
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I was just thinkin', and I thought I'd make a note of this. I guess if you wanted to get in my head, you could read this, sure. Go for it. It may be a little weird though. But hey, since when am I a normal person?
Well, I decided that I am like a child. I get excited about little things. Things that don't matter too much. Like ice cream. Or just something pretty. I'm rather naive and ignorant when it comes to most things, and most of the time I don't know what I'm doing. And if I do have an idea, then I still beg for the help, or at least the company, of another person, just because I need the reassurance of knowing I'm doing something right.
I have an attraction for things that move, things that shine and sparkle, and fuzzy things like kittens and teddy bears. I put loads of sugar in anything that "needs" it, and I could live off hot dogs and macaroni & cheese if people would let me. For the longest time, my favorite holiday was Valentine's Day, because I got more candy than Christmas.
I still like watching Sesame Street, just because I think Elmo is adorable. I can sing songs from Dora the Explorer (but I think the show is a bad influence), and Spongebob is one of my favorite shows.
If you walked into my room, you would think I was ten. Or younger. I have stuffed animals on shelves, butterflies on the walls, and pictures of kittens and other animals as decorations. When I draw a picture I'm proud of, I stick it on the refrigerator for the world to see. And I keep a collection of crayons and coloring books tucked in my multicolored bookshelf.
I still like playing games like freeze-tag and hide & seek. If I play with an animal, I tend to mimic its behavior, and the bigger the animal, the more likely I am to wrestle with it. I like playing practical jokes on people, just because reactions are hilarious. But I hate it when people take it the wrong way.
I see past faults, like a child would do. When I look at a person, there's hardly any doubts or a lack of trust. And if someone breaks my heart, I'm dumb enough to let them do it over and over again at least three or four times before considering they might do it again. I laugh at almost everything. And if you don't get a chuckle out of me, you'll at least get a smile. I'm happy when others are happy. I'm sad when others are sad. I feel like a failure when I see that too many people are better than me, yet I hate being seen as better than everyone else.
I get confused when problems can't be fixed. Or when things don't work out the way it was previously planned. I don't understand how race, religion, etc are still issues that the world has to work out, when children seem so quick to accept each other, yet thirty years later, they're bombing each other's countries and homes over an immature disagreement.
Sometimes I cry over another person's situation, and the fact that I can't help them. But I make it my goal to fix things I couldn't in the past, just to make myself feel like a better person.
I wish things were simpler so that I could understand. But they aren't, and so I think I'll always be an odd person to deal with. It might take a lot of patience to cope with someone like me, so maybe I need to change. But I'm not sure how.
Eventually I'll learn, just like every little kid does, but at the moment, I'll enjoy life as ignorantly as I can, just because it's more fun that way.
 Singing Seraph · Sun Jul 04, 2010 @ 10:50pm · 0 Comments |
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