Well... My real name is Chelsey, I don't really like to be called by that name.. but if you insist on doing so, please go ahead. I can't say that I have the worse life in the world, but I don't like how it went, and I don't much care about myself now. Well... I guess I care if I hate myself. You can call me emo or whatever, but I don't consider it my fault. I try to be as happy as I can be, I'm really trying. I don't want to be hated. If I know someone dislikes me, I have some sort of panic attack. I get sick.
I don't really have a lot of friends... People that I consider friends I guess. I have very few. Most of them people I've met on the internet, if you could consider those people friends at all. My best friend is Shina, we've had a couple fights, but we fixed them. I'm glad we did, and I'm glad she had the patience to go through that with me. I'm not exactly nice if you piss me off, or if I'm mad. I do try to fix things though. Sometimes I feel that people don't listen, that they don't want to fix it.
Heh.. Well my family. I really don't like my family a whole lot. They just can't wait till I'm 18 so they can kick me out of the house. They talk about it all the time. "Can't wait till you move out, did you find a job yet? Did you save up enough money? I hope you did otherwise you're gonna be living under a bridge. hahaha." Yeah. I don't like. My sister is kinda a douchebag, calling names and such. I've given up on her as well, along with my brother who seems to following her footsteps. I wish he'd follow mine, I'm much more mature now and I think I'd be a better role model for him.
Childhood: Oh well it started off with me getting molested by my step-grandfather. Hes went to jail but I believe hes out now. I tell my friend that I don't want to go to college in a certain city because of a ex-friend that lives there. Thats not true at all. Its because I'm afraid of this man. A while after that my mother started taking me to see a doctor, I was diagnosed with extreme bi-polar disorder and ADHD. They started giving me medications which made me feel sick as soon as I started taking them. I felt sleepy all the time, almost like I had the flu. I hated it. About 5th grade I started failing school. Partly because of my medication and partly because I was bullied. The end of 7th grade I moved from Utah to Oregon. [I had lived in Oregon before, Had moved to Utah at a young age though.] I didn't like to talk to anyone and was often teased for the way I dressed, also being told that I looked like a boy.
High school I started skipping. Along with other things. Luckily I stayed away from sex. I'm glad I did, I want to save it for someone special to me, not some random boy or girl.
I failed every class in school. No matter how much you tell me, I am not smart.
Now I still live at home, I have my GED but no job. I live somewhere I hate.
I read manga and anime, I also role-play. I really do enjoy these worlds more... I wish I lived in a world like these ones, it would make everything so much better, but at the same time, I probably wouldn't realize it. Reading it though, really helps. I can't roleplay while depressed.
I've been used so many times, it hurts. I love the person I'm with right now, even though hes so far away. I have very strong feelings for him. If he ever left me I don't know what would happen. I'd probably beg him, because I'm pathetic like that...
I'm done now.
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Shady Harlequin
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