I needed somewhere to pour out my soul, and since Facebook doesn’t necessarily have a journal application, Gaia will just have to make do…
I have my good days, a lot of them actually, and then, on rare occasions, I have my devastatingly awful days… Today happens to be a devastatingly awful day. These days are the days where all my emotions that I have felt either within the past few weeks to the past few months finally catch up with me. They tear me down little by little until I have nothing left within me. This, I call, is my breaking point. My only want is to sit in the corner and let the tears fall. Pain runs deep in my veins. Pain and depression. We have been hand in hand for many, many years. And sometimes it becomes too difficult to stand tall and wear the smile that everyone expects to see.
Love. Have you truly loved someone if you are able to let them go so easily? Is it love when you are scared to shove your point across in fear of losing your special someone? Why is it so easy to doubt love? Is it because you crave attention that is failed to be presented? Or perhaps the words “I love you” are better represented through action rather than word… but when you receive little to none of either, is that when you begin to doubt? I have never been more confused in my entire life! I love one day and then I don’t know the very next… The battle in my heart is ever going. Will it ever stop? Will I ever gather the strength within me to ask for the truth? Do you truly love me or are you only with me for financial reasoning’s? Do you want me forever or just until something better comes along?
Oh how I wish I could cry away my fears, stress, and all this wretchedness… But the tears will never fall. They can’t be forced out nor coaxed out… They are forever on the brink of falling, but never decide to. Why? Don’t ask. I don’t know. Maybe I have become calloused to the idea. Perhaps it is I who doesn’t care… Don’t ask. Because I simply don’t know.
 Rosaline Marie · Fri Aug 27, 2010 @ 07:59am · 0 Comments |
