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First Entry
Cutting
all about you
you sit in your room night after night
holding the blade close to you
you hurt so much inside your soul
you don't know if you can pull though
you've shed so many tears this time
your world has turned so grey
there's only one thing that brings you comfort
as you look at your arm there's nothing to say
you did it to yourself again to night
you sit and wonder why
you never imagined your life would be this way
there's nothing you can do but cry
as the blood rushed from your arms
you gaze at them silently in fear
if it makes you feel so good
then why is the pain suddenly too much to bear?
alone is the word you fear the most
but the one you know so well
no one will ever love you here
in this place that you call hell
one day you'll understand all this
and be free to walk away
then you take one last look at your arms
you realise you'll always be this way

Do You?
Do you cry yourself to sleep at night?
Do you look in the mirror but not recognise the sight?
Do you know how hard it is just to get through the day?
Do you know how hard it is to disregard what people say?
Do you know how hard it is to hear people say you're just an attention seeker?
Do you just wish they would take the time to delve deeper?
Do you have to hide your feelings in side and not let on how you feel?
Do you have to pretend that this hurt you feel isn't real?
Do you know the humiliation of failing suicide?
Do you know the anger of hearing doctors tell you they're on your side?
Do you cut yourself to realease the pain inside?
Do you live everyday wishing you had died?
Do you love pusing the cold blade into your skin really hard and slow?
Do you smile to yourself as the blood begins to flow?
I do......

I'll always suffer
A drop of blood
a parting of skin
a solemn vow never to do it again
This is my life
this is my sorrow
this is my yesterday, today and tomorrow
save me from this pit of shame
see me at my "morbid games"
i'm hanging on by a thread
i am the walking dead
through this pain i express my soul
the razor rules my life
it had me in its control
my skin bears its mark
my heart wears its name
freedom is my dream
but in the end i'll suffer the same





 
 
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