I don't write in my journal to much now a' days. Only when I feel the need to, and well, I feel like I need to now...since I don't talk to many people..both online and offline, I keep lots o' things bottled up inside, which right now, aggitates me. I'm not able to sleep much...and if I do it's for very short amounts of time, because I usually spend most of my time thinking over things and worrying about friends. Something I can't stand, is that I would lose a 'close' friend, due to her/him not liking one of my other friends, I cryed a lot. So I'm not as strong as some take me to be, wrestling yea I do it...I play football, I'm somewhat a tomboy...but I still cry easily like some chick on her period. Which really sucks cause then people think I'm emo. I used to be cold and closed off...really mean, ask Imp' I didn't even like her, I actually hated her.
But then I met Baer, and that made a hell of a change in me... so in ways I'm greatful, in other ways I'm a bit upset. But eh...I'm able to laugh a lot more, and I have more friends.
I may seem okay to everyone, but it's because I don't like to burden people with my problems, I know they have enough of their own to deal with. So I keep to myself most of the time. A guy I used to have a huge crush on, I can barely stand now...I wonder what the hell did I see in him? He's annoying..and I'm glad I never said a word to him about it.
Anyway...Gaia's my 'Escape from reality' place to come to. But even here, I get problems, and loads of em'. People want to be known, strong, and badass (Not you Vahn your good) but it just makes me look at them like some kind of dumbass. Let it be IC or OOC.
Sure, I'm not the best, nor the strongest, but I try to learn, and I ask questions, I don't gabble about things, if I make a mistake I try to fix it...but ehh enough of my rambeling I just needed a lot of this off my mind, to make it easier to sleep..sorta..well later.
[Na no da] · Fri Mar 17, 2006 @ 03:18am · 1 Comments |