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ever have a moment, when you truly believe in your heart you could just look at someone for the rest of your life, and know everything about them, what their thinking, feeling,

that the way their looking at you, you know, that you both know your somehow connected to them in the most intimate way

when i was watching her last night, gazing into her deep brown eyes, like a moonlit night, it felt as though we shared the same mind, like we were looking in a mirror of our emotions, seeing our love reflected back, knowing we'd always love each other no matter what came between us, her beauty was astounding, it was as if it were the first time i had seen her in all her loving beauty, like i was looking inside of her, seeing her heart, and feeling her love, and yet not even those words can describe what i felt last night, for her beauty aw inspired me so, that i couldnt let her be unhappy, my desire to sleep vanished, replaced with the desire only to see and know she went to bad smiling

and if you know the current me, i go to bed at 1am 2 am max, i used to stay up until 2 am easy, now i guess, balancing work, family, friends, my fiance, video game friends, anime, and all my other activities i dont have enough energy to do it all, it kinda scares me lol how will i find the energy to deal with kids...well i know, she'll be there to help me <3 and we'll do it together ^^ someday, but nooot for a looong while trust me lol we both understand that we need to live out our lives and fulfill our adventures and love for eachother before we take up that one adventure that overhauls everything and demands dedication of almost all your time, so until then i will love her with all my soul, heart and being, for she is the one i want to spend my entire life with, the one i want to build a future with, the one i want to make a home with, the one i want to raise a family with, the one i want to die with <3 and the one i want to be with even in heaven <3 for eternity i could and will love her if i am able to meet her again wherever after death takes us

it was a good night, it had its ups and downs, more ups then down, but i still didnt get her to answer me, i almost dont want an answer, and yet i know i need one to get passed this, it truly is a curse to have both a head and a brain, im not sure what tonight will bring, but i hope i get to see her in the same amazing beautiful intimate passionate connected way that i saw her last night

on a side note, i wonder if i should be posting personal information in these journals, i dont know if she approves or not, but a journals a place to scribe your feelings, so i guess it has to be personal, otherwise you cant reach the source of your feelings, and it ends up just being a story rather then an experience, meaning id be just explaining what happened without giving any input as to how it made me feel or why it made me feel that way, maybe ill ask her idk lol alot of things happen between us, theres got to be a line somewhere that i know she wouldnt want me, and i know i wouldnt want her to cross

and again i still cannot get over how amazingly beautiful she was, her eyes were happy, shining, sparkling like diamonds, her lips were a smile, and i could feel how badly we both wanted to be joined, and kiss eachother and hold eachother through the night, by kissing eachother and holding eachother through the night, her skin was a passionate blush, and though she would never believe it, her skin looked tan and radiant, her words were like music to my ears, i could have listened to her forever, so ard was it to speak that eventually all i could do was mumble my replies, her hair looked as soft as velvet, as silk, my desire to run my hands through it, to mess it up and to feel it run through my fingers was great, i truly believe that come the 7th of September a love like no other will be shared that night, because truly she is an angel, beautiful, pure, innocent, amazing, charming, smart, i could go on forever heart

the night was amazing, i was happy to see that finally she'd gotten a good nights rest, she was also very happy lol texting me almost immediatly after i sent her my text messages, im glad to see her so joyful, and i wonder if shes happy just looking at me through skype until 3 am, which is not creepy at all!! for those critics out there reading, how will she be feeling when she can have me in her arms until morning, and look at me as long as her heart desires, and at the same time i know my heart beats faster, a feeling of explosive happiness wells up inside me just at the thought, ive never felt so happy as this, truly she is the only one who could ever give me this kind of fulfilling happiness, and a love so romantic, and passionate and strong that nothing, no test could break it

just something to think about,


on another side note, i reeeeally want pizza right now and its only 2 pm....gosh pizza sounds sooooo good!!

i have a certain addiction to pizza, not sure if its normal or not lol, but honestly pizza is amazing, i think its the best food in the world, however i have not yet tasted okonomiyaki the japanese inside out pizza of which every chef who makes it has a different sauce they use, me and my fiance soon to be wife! and known to be soon to be wife lol are planning a trip one day to japan, maybe just for a day, maybe for a week, idk but while were there we are going to have ourselfs a night of japanese cuisine in which the next day we will have to exercise heavily for lol we are going to be fat xD its a good thing we both love eating, though i still need to work on my diet, im super skinny, and its one of my goals to make sure kristi has a soft and warm chest to lean on whenever shes tired, and not a bony sknny one

well thats all for todays journal, i love you my fiance, and thank you readers