The back of my salad dressing bottle says this...
"The Great Salad Dressing Balloon Race. An armada of balloons loaded with Light Honey Mustard. The starters gun - Bazoombah! They all rise majestically into the air. Newman's Own Balloon, with fewer calories, more taste, and secretly propelled by charity, flies faster than Kraft® and further than Wishbone®. First across. First in the ground. El Piloto quaffs mucho quaffs of Newman's Own Light Honey Mustard in victory. A medium light Italian starlet, daughter of Butch Cassidini, named Bitsey Cassidini, leaps into the balloon basket, kisses Piloto, her lips smeared with Newman's Own Light, she murmurs, "You taste of Sicily, of Vesuvius, of Naples, baby.", and patting his fanny she whispers, "and no fat."
the ******** did I just read?!!!! eek
DeepDarkHana Community Member 
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