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..Yes i need to get things out of my system today.
I hate myself....Hate myself for these things...I do it alot too...And end up feeling so guilt for it because....Because i have not justifiable reason for it...I vent ..I cry...For the smallest of things....... I hate it! I hate being what i am....Being who i am..... I'm spoiled....Very spoiled....One wouldn't expect it on the surface...but deep down...I want certain things...and cry when i can't get those few important things..to happen my way....I destroy my face.......Because i hate it so much........... It reminds me of everything...that i don't have...No i couldn't be happy with what i have could i?...No...i have to have more.......More things that are probably damn near impossible to get...
I question my sanity......Thinking...that these things ...are a lie...Nothing more than a horrible lie...And destroy my face even more...... THe beliefs i have are impossible....And i question whether i am truely sane. ......I need help ....Real help...... i'm a wreck just waiting to be blown up into smitherines. To be...destroyed...My mind is simply waiting......Waiting to snap...at any given moment..... And when it does...I'll....be nothing........An empty shell........Hell screw nothing..I already am nothing......
I know none of this is healthy......But why should i care?....I hate myself....It's kind of contradictory, to be concerned about the health issues when I hate myself so much.....
(Lost in darkness... Can't seem to find the light...I trap myself in sorrow......Since it's a pain...I'm used to.(this dark heart of mine. Is thine own doing. Watch if thou will? To see mine soul tear away from this corps. This is thy body. Lying on the cold ground of despair. Intwined with the hatred one hast felt for thy self. Making the throny vines of Depression. Take these fragile bones. Will thou doest me that favour? For that is my final wish. To be buried under the old oak tree. To be in the shadows..It so wonderfully casts. I'll than ye later. In the next life perhaps.) I an the black rose. No one like to see me for i symbolize death. I am assosiated with the dark. For i am dark. THe thorns represent the stabs i may inflict to one's heart. May the world hate me for what i do....I am the Black rose of Doom.)